mbarker: (ISeeYou2)
[personal profile] mbarker
Writing Excuses 20.46:  Now Go Write - Break All The Rules ( part 2)

From https://writingexcuses.com/20-46-now-go-write-break-all-the-rules-part-2


Key points: Show, don't tell? Or not? Compress or expand. Using telling to establish important points. Systemless magic? ACES: Access, Causality, Ease, Strangeness. 


[Season 20, Episode 46]


[unknown] Your gaming setup should flex as hard as you do. Lenovo, the world's number one gaming brand, delivers devices that are powerful, whisper quiet, and engineered for victory. This setup totally changed how I play. Featuring top tier GPU, ultra responsive displays, and advanced cooling systems, Lenovo supports every lifestyle and play style. So shop now at lenovo.com/gaming and check out Lenovo gaming PCs. [singing: Lenovo, Lenovo]


[Mary Robinette] This episode of Writing Excuses has been brought to you by our listeners, patrons, and friends. If you would like to learn how to support this podcast, visit www.patreon.com/writingexcuses.


[Season 20, Episode 46]


[Mary Robinette] This is Writing Excuses, now go Write - break all the rules ( part 2).

[Mary Robinette] I'm Mary Robinette.

[DongWon] I'm DongWon.

[Erin] And I'm Erin.


[Erin] Okay. We are back. We have two numbers remaining in my rule breaking thing that I'm doing.

[Mary Robinette] Three.

[Erin] 3. Okay. telling instead of showing. So, this is, like, interestingly, I think, show don't tell, became very popular and then very, like, unpopular, and is now maybe resurging. I don't know how you feel about... Do you think people still tell people show don't tell, or has that fallen out of favor in [many theaters]?

[Mary Robinette] I see it...

[DongWon] [garbled] hear it all the time.

[Mary Robinette] They do.

[Erin] Okay.

[Mary Robinette] They do. So part of the thing that drives me crazy about show don't tell is that it's not a real quote, people quote it as if it's Chekhov and he didn't actually ever say it. The closest we get... What we have is actually a summary of someone else's interpretation of a letter that he wrote to his brother. And if we look at the actual thing he wrote, it's much more limited and focused in application. So, "in descriptions of nature, we must seize on small details, grouping them so that when the reader closes his eyes, he gets a picture." For instance, you'll have a moonlit night. If you write that on the mill dam  a piece of glass from a broken bottle glittered like a bright little star and the black shadow of a dog or a wolf rolled past it like a ball. So what he meant was that you can use those details to create an image. But he's not saying don't tell people about things. Like, that's not what he's saying.

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] Yeah.

[Mary Robinette] Not even a little bit.

[Erin] And...

[DongWon] Yeah. The advice of show don't tell is the way that like [garbled] faster than anything else. Right? Because the thing is about a novel is that it is mostly the writer telling us stuff.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[DongWon] That's what writing is, is people telling people other things.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Erin] And also, like, that is storytelling.

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] Most of the time, most of the stories you are told, like, when we're not reading something...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] If your friend is like, Ah can't believe it, like, aliens landed and then zombies attacked me. Like, a lot of what they're... They're just going to be telling you what happened to them.

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] They cannot show you the thing has happened.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Erin] And the really good storytellers... You could have three friends. Something... The same amazing thing happened to them. And one friend you know would just be much better at conveying it.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Erin] And, like, one friend would make it really boring even if it was like the biggest thing.

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] Because some people know how to tell in a really interesting way, and some just are working on that.


[Mary Robinette] Yeah. I find that I tend to, instead of saying show don't tell, I tend to talk more about compressing and expanding.

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Mary Robinette] That the things that usually, things that are not emotionally important, we're going to compress so we can get past them faster. And things that are emotionally important, we're going to expand and unpack so we can live them. But there are times when you want to compress something that is a nice emotional and important thing to give more space for the reader to come in. So, Stephen King, I'm going to quote this not quite right, but in On Writing, he talks about you can expand, you can describe the amount of pain someone is in. The white hot pick lancing through his... like, you can describe all of that, or you can say they ripped off his thumbnail. And, like, that immediately makes people...

[DongWon] Ow!

[Mary Robinette] Go... Right! Right, but I just told you that, I didn't des... I didn't show it. Right? But it invites, it leaves space for the reader...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Mary Robinette] To come in and bring their own experience there. So there are places where you do, I think, want to compress so that the reader will fill in the gaps.

[DongWon] And it goes back to what we were talking about in the first half of this episode, of the  karaoke singer who just belts the whole time. Right? You need to have that variance. Right? And sometimes, the most effective thing is to zoom really all the way in on the quietest, most nothing moment, the bug crawling across a leaf, because that can be a rich metaphorical image for what's about to happen. And then you'll speed up, and be like, and then he went about his whole day and did X, Y,  and Z, blah blah blah blah blah. Right? And, like, sometimes that zooming in and zooming out is you communicating to your reader the information you want them to have in various ways, and sometimes it's not obvious what needs to be written out in extreme detail, and sometimes it's obvious what needs to be told to them to skip past.

[Mary Robinette] There's... I did the translation for Hildurknutsdotter's The Night Guest. And in it, like, stuff goes wrong, as you might guess from the title, at night. And there's this one chapter, and the entirety of the chapter is, I have decided to stop sleeping.

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Mary Robinette] Right?

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] That's not good.

[Mary Robinette] No. No. And it's just this cold thing. And then it's just blank pages. And then you turn...

[DongWon] Yep.

[Mary Robinette] And like it's... But again, it's that leaving space, it's the deciding the one detail that I'm going to tell you and then you get to build everything else from that.


[Erin] Yeah. I love all of that. And I think one other thing I think telling can be really good at is establishing rules of the world when you're not sure what people...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] May take away. If there's something that's like a fundamental, like, load-bearing wall of your setting, and you're like, I really think it's important that everyone understand that this is like underwater. Like, I think there are times...

[Mary Robinette] Yes.

[Erin] When you don't...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] To just be so showy...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] That people miss it.

[DongWon] Yes.

[Erin] And then they're like, wait, this was underwater the whole... 

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] That changed everything.

[DongWon] Or the opposite happens. The biggest mistake I see show don't tell mis-applied is in the opening of books. Right?

[Mary Robinette] Oh, my goodness.

[DongWon] The first page of a book, where people be like, oh, I'm just going to show them how the rules of this world work. But I'm like, I'm a baby, I don't understand...

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[DongWon] Anything yet. I don't know, are we underwater? Are we above water? And you can say a thing that is a metaphorical beautiful image, and I will take it so literally and be like, wait, this isn't an underwater site, that was a metaphor?

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[DongWon] You know what I mean? Because I don't know enough yet to not know that that wasn't literal. Right? And so the openings of books is a place to be telling people information, and you want to do it in ways that are engaging and well written and captivating. But you can tell people stuff in interesting ways. Just because it's telling doesn't mean it's inherently boring or doesn't have layered information or doesn't have thematic resonance. You just gotta get better at telling people stuff.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah. I called this playing coy with the reader.

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Mary Robinette] Where it's like I just want you to figure it out. It's like... I'm like, or we can communicate.

[Erin] If you think about it as a baby, it's great.

[laughter]

[Erin] [garbled] like, well, like how do you walk? Well, you figure it out. Like, you know what I mean?

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Erin] There's a certain amount of that you can do, but at a certain point, I think, you do have to like eventually tell the babies a few things once they understand language.

[DongWon] Or at least don't get mad at the baby when it walks into a table...

[laughter]

[DongWon] You didn't tell it about tables. You know what I mean? One area where I think this really comes from is because so much of our narrative language has become visual. Right? We talk about movies... I mean, you'll hear me do it on this podcast constantly, of using movies and TV as reference points for how we tell stories. Right? The problem is that a book is wildly different...

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[DongWon] From a visual medium, because they only know literally what you tell them. They don't know anything other than what words you put on the page versus when you're watching an image on a screen, you're  absorbing a ton of information about what are they wearing, what's the lighting like, all of these different things. All these other departments are coming into play in a way in which you don't necessarily get in a book.

[Mary Robinette] But that actually is one of the places that show don't tell has come from...

[DongWon] Yep.

[Mary Robinette] Is that one of the things that people took it from, like, this whole Chekhov idea was during the transition from silent films to talkies. And the show don't tell was don't use narration cards... Or not silent films to talkies, but to silent films. Don't use narration cards when you can just... When you can show it, because they were like, this is a visual medium, you should be using those tools. We also say, in puppet theater, it's a puppet show, not a puppet tell...

[Chuckles]

[Mary Robinette] Because...

[DongWon] Yeah, well, Chekhov was a playwright.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was a playwright. But... Yeah.

[Erin] And I do think there are times when, like, you can... I think sometimes the positive of show don't tell is if you're used to visual media and you're trying to, like, write that way, you may forget to include some of the stuff that you take away...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] From... Like, when you see an actor, like with a single tear going down their eye, like, as they watch a sunset, you're filling in a lot... You're telling yourself, like, a little bit of the story. And sometimes that part of the telling gets lost.

[Mary Robinette, DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] But a lot of times, I think, it is about telling really well, and we're... We're running long. But I will say that I think some of the ways that you can tell well are think about the way you pace,...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] The way you're telling things. Watch really good kind of stand-up comedians, who are... Who tell really interesting stories that lead to a joke. They use the rule of threes, they sort of increase in their cadence and pace as they get closer to the big thing that they want you to understand. They  use really interesting words when they're telling you something. I mean, I'm completely... not to judge your friends at home, but if you think about the way your not as good at  telling things friends might tell you something versus your friend who could tell you a trip to the grocery store and make it sound like the most epic adventure ever, it's because they... A lot that they're telling you, they use language that makes it sound very exciting. And so you can use all of those tools as a thing.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Erin] And I think also the very fun thing about telling is that it reveals the teller.

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] So the way somebody tells a story says a lot about the way they see the world.

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] And when you want to reveal something about your protagonist, having them tell the reader something also tells the reader something...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] About who they are.

[DongWon] Exactly.


[Mary Robinette] Speaking of telling you things, you do your final number...

[Erin] I will do my final number, which is one, and this is one I'm going to... This is my, like, most controversial number. And I'm just going to run through it and tell you, because I have a saying that I believe, that magic doesn't have to have a system, is my last one. I think system magic is fine, but I'm a huge fan of systemless magic, or magic just exists in the world. And the way that I think about this is through a framework that I call ACES. Which is, A is access. So you're thinking about how magic is going to work in your world. A is access, who can do the magic? Can everyone do it? Can only people from the bloodline of Rohisla do it? Which apparently is now a family. Can like...

[Mary Robinette] So that's what the of Rohisla was [garbled]

[Erin] That's right. Like, is it... So who can do it? C is for causality. How direct is you doing anything from you getting what you want? Is it like every time if I clap three times, click my heels three times, and say there's no place like home, I will go home? Or is it like I'm going to wish and like it might not come true exactly the way that I want it to? The more causality you'll find in, like, a D&D style magic where you know exactly what the spell does. But there are... You could have a form of magic, and when it's just like I think it'll do this, but I don't know exactly how to make it happen. E is for ease, how easy is it to do the magic? Do you have to sacrifice your first born child or cut off your toenails every time you need to do magic? Or is it like you could just wake up tomorrow and do it? And then finally strangeness. How weird is what the magic is doing compared to what we are doing? Are you turning people inside out? Are you turning them into a frog? Are you just making them walk slightly faster? Like, how it is. And so thinking about what those things are, and in my essay, I will go into depth about how you can think about those things and use them against each other.

[DongWon] I certainly think Lord of the Rings would be better if Gandalf the White said, I'm casting a level 9 Fireball...

[laughter]

[DongWon] So you consume meta magic sorcery points to make it a maximized style at this range.

[laughter]

[Erin] Exactly.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah. I don't disagree with you, because I've read stories where...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Mary Robinette] And also, I disagree with you only because the people using the magic or existing in that world are usually humans, and humans are pattern seeking creatures, and we will turn everything into a magic system, like the bus. How do you get the bus to come? The spell you cast is you walk away from the bus stop. Like, we will find... Like, don't say that thing out loud. Like, we will systematize things that do not have systems.

[DongWon] But I think superstition is still resistant to systemization. Right? Like, people have ideas of what works and doesn't versus what the narrator is telling us works and doesn't work. Right?

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[DongWon] Because, like, there are also times where I knock on wood and then the bad thing happens anyways.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[DongWon] Right? Am I going to stop knocking on wood? No. Does that... And so I think in so many ways, making magic not numinous and strange and unpredictable can sometimes... For certain kinds of storytelling, bleed something out of it, and then for other kinds of story, I want to know exactly how my magic works in a really detailed way, in the way that I want to know how the engines work in The Expanse.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[DongWon] Right? But I don't really care how the engines work in Star Trek. You know what I mean? It's just another tool in your kit.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah. I think the difference is that in The Expanse, we want to know how the engines work because it is almost always a plot point.

[DongWon] Exactly.

[Mary Robinette] And it's never a plot point in Star...

[DongWon] Exactly.

[Mary Robinette] Trek?

[DongWon] Star Trek. Yeah.

[Mary Robinette] I mean, dilithium crystals. But whatever. Like, we know enough. So... And I think, to quote the founder of this podcast, the Sanderson's law, that the... Oh. I can't... I'm not going to quote him, I'm going to paraphrase him. That the definition of the magic system is proportional to the amount of plot that it carries.

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Mary Robinette] So, like, if it's like this thing always happens if you do... If you say Beetlejuice three times, like, we don't need to know why that works, we don't need to know any of those things.

[Erin] Yeah. I think, two things I would say. One is I do think we are pattern seeking creatures. But I also think there are a lot of folk traditions, especially like around, like, ghosts and haunts, where, like, people don't really understand it, nor do they want to. I think there's a feeling that this is beyond human understanding, and attempting to understand it will actually make it bad for you.

[Mary Robinette, DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] And that we should just sort of, like, leave it out there... Like, will the ghost of your great aunt show up? Maybe. And why is she showing up tonight? I don't know. Like...

[DongWon] None of my business.

[Chuckles]

[Erin] None of my business, and I'm not going to ask.

[DongWon, Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Erin] A lot of questions about that. But she's just there.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Erin] But I do think that the role of plot, to me it's more...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] Does it solve problems? Or is it part of the problem? And the way I think about that is gravity. So if gravity, like, if you're like,, I can't move because gravity is too heavy, you probably don't need to know, like, how gravity works in order to just understand its effect. But if you controlling gravity is what's going to fix that problem, then you're going to want to understand...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] How it works.

[Mary Robinette, DongWon] Yeah.

[Erin] So you can have magic be a problem creator and you just need to understand enough to know, like, oh, no, I said this three times and this person appeared. I guess that's what it does. But what you don't want to have happen, I think, is for the way in which it works to be the solution, but only you the author understand it, it never...

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Erin] Becomes clear.

[DongWon] Exactly.

[Erin] Either to the characters or for the reader.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[DongWon] Yeah.

[Mary Robinette] So, basically, I think we... I completely agree with you, I just needed to...

[DongWon] Totally. I think we're really on the same page.

[Mary Robinette] I just needed to poke at it a little bit.

[Erin] What?

[Mary Robinette] I know...

[Erin] It's like we're on a podcast together...

[Mary Robinette] I have opinions that are accepted.


[Erin] Speaking of being on a podcast, we are going to go to the homework. And your homework is to pick one of the four things we talked about. So, systemless magic, inactive protagonist, telling versus showing, or passive voice. Take a scene that you've written and rewrite it where this is the thing that you're doing. And see how much it changes.


[Mary Robinette] This has been Writing Excuses. You're out of excuses. Now go write.



mbarker: (BrainUnderRepair)
[personal profile] mbarker
Writing Excuses 16.33: Tell, Don't Show
 
 
Key points: Show, don't tell originated in silent films, where the choice was between showing you a visual image or letting you read a title card. However, storytelling inherently has a certain amount of telling. It's a balance between telling and showing. Especially in the opening pages of a book, the writer needs to tell the reader a lot of information for context. Consider it as describing and demonstrating. Or consider it as controlling pacing and emotional distance. You can interweave telling and showing. Show us the good parts, and tell us the other parts. Some of this is the order of information being presented. 
 
[Season 16, Episode 33]
 
[Dongwon] This is Writing Excuses, Tell, Don't Show.
[Mary Robinette] 15 minutes long.
[Dan] Because you're in a hurry.
[Howard] And we're going to tell you stuff.
[Dongwon] I'm Dongwon.
[Mary Robinette] I'm Mary Robinette.
[Dan] I'm Dan.
[Howard] And I'm not going to show you that I'm Howard.
 
[Mary Robinette] Well, fine then. As we start off this…
[Dan] Thank goodness.
[Mary Robinette] I want to actually talk about where the advice tell… Or show, don't tell comes from. This actually comes from silent films.
[Chuckles]
[Mary Robinette] So, this is important to understand…
[Dan] A slightly outmoded art form.
[Mary Robinette] As a writer. What this advice originated from is what the reader wants to see is characters doing stuff and action happening. What they don't want is to have to read a bunch of title cards. So, if you can give us information embedded in the scene, that is significantly better than having a title card or having a whole bunch of things at the beginning that your character has… Your reader has to wade through before they get to the meat of the thing. So that's where show, don't tell comes from. But in fact, we are storytellers, so… A certain amount of telling is kind of baked into our process.
[Dan] Yeah.
[Dongwon] Yeah, the thing I always think about is that a novel is mostly the writer just telling you stuff. Because there's too much thing… Stuff, there's too many things that happen in a novel or you to show every single component of it. Right? So I think show, don't tell is really useful advice, but for a 101 level writer. For an introductory writer. When you're just getting started, you need to learn how to make sure that things are seen on the page that reinforce the stuff that you're telling us. But the reality is, it's a balance. There's a lot of telling and a lot of showing. I think when you're in the opening pages of a book, there's so much information that I as a reader need to understand anything. This kind of goes back to our start it with dialogue thing, that if you tell me some stuff first, then I have the context to engage with the dialogue that you're putting up on the page. So I think there are ways in which you can tell us a lot of information. Think about Hill House. That whole first paragraph is just Shirley Jackson telling us about this house. I think that informs everything that's going to come after that.
[Mary Robinette] Yeah. This is… This has been true for all of the things that we're doing. But frequently what they're doing is that everything is doing double duty. It is both just flat out telling you. I was arrested. That's just flat out telling you. I was arrested. He then proceeds to show the arrest. Yes. But he's not playing coy with the information. It's like this is the important thing, this is the thing that I want you to understand. A lot of times, I think that we internalize this show don't tell so thoroughly that a writer feels like if they just come out and tell the reader something, that they have in some way diminished the surprise, the anticipation of whatever it is.
[Dan] Yeah.
[Mary Robinette] Using my own novel as an example, the opening of Calculating Stars is, "Do you remember where you were when the meteor hit?" I'm like flat out telling you a meteor is going to hit. A meteorite is going to hit. Before we get into the rest of what's going on. So it's totally okay to just tell people things. He said, she said. That's just telling people stuff.
[Dan] Yeah.
[Howard] The best example I've found for… In support of show don't tell in novel form was a draft I read in which a conversation, a big, detailed conversation between two characters, we are told the summary of the conversation. It is bookended by very specific dialogue, meaningless dialogue, from the pilot about bringing the spaceship into dock. I remember reading that and thinking, "You showed me the completely uninteresting bits, and you told me what happened in the part that I wanted to see." So that felt upside down. But yeah, for the most part, we are tellers, and we tell a lot.
[Dan] I like to use different words for these. Telling and showing, because we are primarily a nonvisual medium, don't have as much meaning as they would in, for example, silent film. So, I like to talk about instead describing and demonstrating. Like Dongwon said, there's a big balance between them. That you need to do both of them. Some things need to be described, and some things need to be demonstrated on the page so that we can see them in action and understand why we should care about them. But using… How to use those two tools is really valuable.
[Mary Robinette] I also use different words when I'm talking about it. Because for me, the decision about showing or telling is about controlling two specific things, the pacing and my emotional distance from the character. So the more I unpack something and take time with it and dwell on it, the kind of closer I am to the character's head. That doesn't mean that my sentences have to get long. Like in the Tom Reacher, that's… We are very deeply in the character's head, but everything's short and punchy. So for me, it's about immediacy versus distance from the character, or unpacking or compressing something. If time passes, frequently, I'm just going to tell you, a lot of time passed. I'm not going to make you, like, live through that.
 
[Dongwon] I think also one block that people have is they think right here, this paragraph, I'm telling somebody something. This next scene, I'm showing. Then I'm going to tell, then I'm going to show. I think that is… I think the Dan thing really helps disrupt that, because what you're really doing is sliding from showing and telling sentence to sentence, even, like, clause to clause in a sentence. When you have dialogue, Howard kind of hinted at this a little bit, but you can have one person say something and then tell us, "And they said that their day was great." You know what I mean? Or tell, "And then she told me about her day and her morning, and some interesting stuff happened, but mostly it was boring." Right? Like, you can skip over the boring parts of it, but then show us the interactions that matter. Right? So, think of these as tools to be used in a very interwoven, very integrated way. Not one block of that and then one big block of that.
[Howard] It's also useful to think about this kind of the way the MPAA handles content ratings. If you show the splash of blood and gibbets and gore, you've got an R rating. If you show the moment leading up to that, and then the camera pulls away and someone talks about what happened, you have a different rating and the viewer has a different experience. So you, as the writer, by controlling the position of the camera can do some things with content that might otherwise be extremely triggery, extremely graphic, whatever, and handle it in a different way, because it's your book. You show us what you want to show us, and tell us the parts that you don't want us to stare at.
 
[Mary Robinette] So, with that, may we tell you about our book of the week?
[Dan] That is my opportunity this week to talk about Jade City by Fonda Lee. This is the first in a series, a fantasy series, that I didn't quite know what to expect going into it. It is kind of an epic fantasy about two crime families, basically, in an Asian inspired fantasy world. But in… It's a modern version of that. It is… It's set in like a modern-day style city. The very first paragraph has ceiling fans that took me completely by surprise because I was expecting something more traditional fantasy. The language in the book is incredible. The characters are enormously compelling. The setting is really well drawn and fascinating. It's absolutely wonderful. There's a whole series attached to it, so please go read Jade City by Fonda Lee.
[Mary Robinette] I'm going to second that, because I blurbed it. I think I described it as the Godfather meets Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
[Laughter]
[Mary Robinette] Because it's all of those things, plus all of the stuff that you love from martial arts wireworks as a magic system. It's so good.
[Dongwon] Fonda herself talks about that book as the Godfather with kung fu, right? That's absolutely the premise. I will also point out that Jade Legacy, book 3 in the series, is out this November and I cannot wait.
 
[Dan] Well, let me use this as an example of what we're talking about with tell, don't show. Because it is entirely about kind of two warring crime families. There's No Peak and there's Mountain, and they're fighting for control over the city. In order to understand that battle, we need to understand how the city functions and how the magic works and all of that. So it begins with what I suppose is technically a prologue, but feels just like chapter 1 of two thieves who are trying to steal a bunch of Jade from a kind of low level criminal. Because they are outside of the system, we're not getting all of the high level ramifications of what's going on. We're getting the very low level jade is important, this is why, this is what it can do, this is why we want it. So it's just really kind of telling us… It's describing to us what is important and why. Then it is demonstrating to us what the magic can do and what it is like to live in the city, all at the same time. It's a brilliant opening.
[Dongwon] Yeah. I mean, she tells us that Jade is important, that the clans are important, how the jade magic works, and how the culture in the city works. She's telling us all those things. Then, immediately reinforces it by showing us the moment of these two petty criminals walking to this restaurant to try and rip off this like mid-level boss, and just everything is a disaster, as you can expect, in a totally delightful, like, very Breaking Bad style way of, like, all these dominoes falling. But it's such an opportunity to set up the thing by telling you, reinforce it by showing you, and then telling you the next thing, when you see the consequences of the first thing happening, right? This is a try fail cycle used to demonstrate worldbuilding. It's a master class in my opinion. The other thing I wanted… I'm sorry, go on.
[Mary Robinette] I was going to say, we should probably talk about other things besides the book, even though I will… I was… Because I was just about to say, "And also…"
[Laughter]
[Howard] Oh, and then in this part…
 
[Dongwon] We could go on forever about this book. The other thing I want to talk about though, is… I think it's so interesting that Mary Robinette pointed out that the origins of show, don't tell are rooted in silent film. Because I think the way in which… The amount of visual media that we all consume today I think has made show, don't tell really run off the rails in terms of writing fiction, which is a nonvisual medium. Right, as Dan said. The problem with show and tell is we think of it as here's a scene of two characters talking and then here's a voiceover, and that's the telling. We think of telling as the artificial voiceover. In film, that's often a cheap trick. In film, that is a shortcut to giving us information for a variety of reasons. So what we instead need to remember is that when we are looking at a visual image, we are absorbing enormous amounts of information that aren't on the page. We can see the characters' faces, we can see their expressions, we can see what they're wearing, we can see the furniture behind them. Right? You don't need to describe that ceiling fan. If I just saw the opening shot of a movie version of Jade City, I would know, yeah, this is the 1970s. Yeah, there's technology. Yeah, there's cars. Right? I don't need to be told those things. So the thing to remember is that when you're writing a book, the reader will only see what you put a laser focus on. The mechanic by which you often put that laser focus on the stage setting is through telling us stuff.
[Mary Robinette] The example that I use when I am attempting to explain this, to tell people about this, is that a lot of what we're talking about here is the order of information. That the order of information that you're presenting to people on that first page is incredibly important because you're setting up context. So what I use is the example of imagine that you're in a dark theater. That's laser focus, and that you have a single spotlight. The single spotlight rests… Opens up on a pool of red liquid on a linoleum floor. You think, "Oh. Someone's been stabbed. There's blood on the floor." Then it pans over and you see a can of Kool-Aid. You're like, "Oh. Okay. No no no no. I was wrong. I misunderstood what was going on. This is a kitchen drama and someone's just dropped a can of Kool-Aid and that's what the red liquid is." You pan a little bit farther. Now you see a hand and a bloody knife. You're like, "Oh. No, I was right the first time. Someone was stabbed." But, if you do it the other way around, if you provide context for your reader, if you start with the hand on the floor with the knife, and then you go to the can of Kool-Aid, and then you go to the red liquid, the reader can build this very clear picture in their head. So when you're deciding at the beginning kind of what to tell, you're not just deciding what to tell, but you're also deciding when to tell it. You're trying to make sure that you're presenting this information in a way that the reader is building that… The picture that you want them to build in their head. Because storytelling is linear, whereas film, even though we are experiencing time passing, you don't have control. You have some control over where an audience looks on a screen, but, like, if I am watching something and there is a typewriter in a scene, that is always the first thing I will look at. The filmmaker has absolutely no control over that. But on a page, you do have that control. Howard, it looked like you had a thing?
[Howard] I did. A short paragraph of character description from a work in progress, which… I talked about metaphor and simile and whatnot in an earlier episode. How Lee Childs didn't use it in the Jack Reacher thing. Metaphors and comparisons are a form of telling, a form of description, that give us a shortcut. This is short.
 
Darren laughs. It's a big, friendly, old man sort of belly laugh. Not quite ho ho ho, but if Darren ever decided to grow a beard to go with his massive handlebar mustache, he'd have steady holiday work as a shopping mall Santa.
 
How much of that is actual description, how much of that is comparison to a picture you already have in your head and I'm telling you to make a connection between these two things, that is something that absolutely… The… A movie can't do that with one of the characters saying, "Your laugh sounds like Santa Claus. Have you looked at…" Which would derail the film.
[Dan] Well, to keep this… My own little terminology going. That paragraph you read us is telling us how to think about this person. It's describing the person. But at the same time, it is demonstrating the characterization of the speaker. We're learning so much about the person who is giving us that information because of the way they choose to give it.
 
[Mary Robinette] So, with that in mind, I think, let's talk about your homework for this week.
[Dongwon] So, your homework for this week is, again, maybe taking that scene or taking another opening scene, and what I want you to do is to rewrite the whole first scene purely as narration. Right? Take out any dialogue, take out any of that scene setting, and just give it to us as a narrator describing what's happening. Now, I'm not recommending this be the final version of your opening. I think this is a really instructive exercise though to show you what does and doesn't work about this approach. Hopefully, from this you can take sentences, you can take paragraphs, and then work that into your draft. But I want you to really step back and force yourself to get rid of all the tools of showing and only do a telling version of it. See where that gets you.
[Mary Robinette] All right. This has been Writing Excuses. You're out of excuses, now go write.
 
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Writing Excuses 12.7: Description Through the Third Person Lens

From http://www.writingexcuses.com/2017/02/12/12-7-description-through-the-third-person-lens/

Key Points: Learn to let the character's voice, thoughts, and feelings come through when describing, especially in third person. Combine characterization and description! Get specific with what the character notices and does. Pay attention to what they notice, and what they miss. Describe the small things, let the reader imagine the large things. Focus indicates thought -- what the character sees, what they hear. Exercise: try and include every sense in a scene. But don't spend too long! And beware going overboard on all the senses all the time -- no one licks a vase. Add your infodumps in third person to emotion, action, dialogue -- dribble them across a scene. Pick out the important information and avoid the irrelevant infodump. Losing viewpoint? Check the emotional investment in the scene. Make sure you have the right scene. What happens when the main character knows something, but doesn't let the reader know? Frustration! Use focus, something else compelling to keep the main character going, and sometimes, it's just background for the character, no matter how surprising it is for the reader. Or... give the reader the information! Often knowing the secret makes the action more compelling. Or make that other plan a contingency. Think surprising, yet inevitable.

The third person thinker? )

[Brandon] We are out of time. Mary Anne, you were going to give us some homework?
[Mary Anne] Well, I was just going to say that I love Ursula Le Guin's book, Steering the Craft. It's a very short little how-to-write book. She's got like three chapters with exercises on various variations of third person that I find really helpful. I still… I assign it every semester and I do them again with my students every semester. I get something out of it every time.
[Brandon] Well, excellent. That is your homework. Go read some Ursula Le Guin. You will always find it time well spent, I have found. This has been Writing Excuses. You're out of excuses. Now go write.
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
NaNoWriMo Pep-Talk from Mary

From http://www.writingexcuses.com/2011/11/16/nanowrimo-pep-talk-from-mary-robinette/

[Mary] This is Mary Robinette Kowal with Writing Excuses. So we are on the 16th. You should have probably around 26,000 words... 27,000. In that range. I am doing NaNoWriMo this year.

The interesting thing is, I wrote Shades of Milk and Honey, which was my first published novel, as a NaNoWriMo book.

Around this point, every time I've done it, I hit the "what am I going to do next?" The fatigue begins to set in.

You have two choices right now. You can decide that you are realy going to buckle down and get through the difficult spot, or you can decide that your goal is to just get words on the page and to practice having your butt in a chair.

If you take that route, the way to up that wordcount is to start describing things. Describe them in complete, ridiculously overwrought detail.

What you're doing here, you're basically letting go. You're letting go of structure and you're saying, "I'm going to practice, this week, my description."

You may cut all of these words later. You may move them to different parts of your book, which is actually what I wound up doing with mine.

But just today, if you're fatigued and you have nothing else in your brain, sit down and describe in copious, exacting, painful detail, using as many thesaurus words as you can...

Bad writing, basically, is what I'm advising you to do right now.

Describe the room that your character is in.

Have fun! Go write.

Profile

Writing Excuses Transcripts

December 2025

S M T W T F S
 12345 6
7891011 1213
14151617 181920
21222324 252627
28293031   

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Dec. 28th, 2025 09:52 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios