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mbarkerWriting Excuses 12.18: Gendered Dialect, with J. R. Johansson
From http://www.writingexcuses.com/2017/04/30/12-18-gendered-dialect-with-j-r-johansson/
Key Points: Men and women have different motivations in communication. Women, in general, seek connections, while men seek status. Women use rapport talk, while men use report talk. Men tend to goal-oriented communications, while women are building bonds. When women join other women, the first comment is likely to be a compliment. With men, the first thing is likely to be a joking insult. Relations versus dominance. Most of this is socialization. Be aware that the exceptions are as interesting as the rules! Broad spectrum of engagement. When a woman says, "This is what happened to me," they are looking for empathy, sympathy, where a man is likely to answer, "Let me fix that for you." Women often apologize, are overly polite. They use equivocating, and self-deprecation. To learn the other side, read work written by and for that gender. Get someone to flag your writing. "Spend more time listening than you spend talking."
( All the talk, uncut! )
[Howard] Okay. We are out of time. Susan, do you have a writing prompt for us?
[Susan] Um...
[Mary] I actually…
[Howard] No, Jenn has the writing prompt for us.
[J. R.] I do. I have a writing prompt for you.
[I'm so sorry, I don't.] [Laughter] [We got you covered. Go to it.]
[J. R.] Okay. So, I think it's very, frequently when you see a matriarchy represented in fantasy, sci-fi, any of those type situations… It's really just a patriarchy with women in all of the roles. So write a scene with a matriarchy that has them communicating and dealing with each other in a little more of a female fashion. See how that goes.
[Howard] Outstanding. Fair listener, this has been Writing Excuses. You are out of excuses. Now go write.
From http://www.writingexcuses.com/2017/04/30/12-18-gendered-dialect-with-j-r-johansson/
Key Points: Men and women have different motivations in communication. Women, in general, seek connections, while men seek status. Women use rapport talk, while men use report talk. Men tend to goal-oriented communications, while women are building bonds. When women join other women, the first comment is likely to be a compliment. With men, the first thing is likely to be a joking insult. Relations versus dominance. Most of this is socialization. Be aware that the exceptions are as interesting as the rules! Broad spectrum of engagement. When a woman says, "This is what happened to me," they are looking for empathy, sympathy, where a man is likely to answer, "Let me fix that for you." Women often apologize, are overly polite. They use equivocating, and self-deprecation. To learn the other side, read work written by and for that gender. Get someone to flag your writing. "Spend more time listening than you spend talking."
( All the talk, uncut! )
[Howard] Okay. We are out of time. Susan, do you have a writing prompt for us?
[Susan] Um...
[Mary] I actually…
[Howard] No, Jenn has the writing prompt for us.
[J. R.] I do. I have a writing prompt for you.
[I'm so sorry, I don't.] [Laughter] [We got you covered. Go to it.]
[J. R.] Okay. So, I think it's very, frequently when you see a matriarchy represented in fantasy, sci-fi, any of those type situations… It's really just a patriarchy with women in all of the roles. So write a scene with a matriarchy that has them communicating and dealing with each other in a little more of a female fashion. See how that goes.
[Howard] Outstanding. Fair listener, this has been Writing Excuses. You are out of excuses. Now go write.
