wetranscripts | Entries tagged with foreshadow

Writing Excuses18.39: How To Write An Ending

From https://writingexcuses.com/18-39-how-to-write-an-ending

Key Points: When I wrote that title, I knew that the structure of this book needed to involve splitting up the cast and sending Schlock off on his own, doing something stupid and chaotic and destructive and ultimately heroic. This formula is super simple. You split people up, and then you bring them back together, and that creates a natural structure for a story, and it can be very satisfying. A frag suit that talks back to him so Schlock has a foil. And treating a synthetic intelligence as if it is an artificial intelligence, and having that entity become a person, is beautiful. It's very hard to be funny by yourself. For a storyteller, many things are driven by this is horrible. Go back to the well and fill your head with physics. Callbacks, retroactive foreshadowing. Joy!

[Season 18, Episode 39]

[Mary Robinette] This is Writing Excuses, Deep Dive, Sergeant in Motion.

[DongWon] 15 minutes long.

[Erin] Because you're in a hurry.

[Howard] And we're not that smart.

[Mary Robinette] I'm Mary Robinette.

[DongWon] I'm DongWon.

[Erin] I'm Erin.

[Howard] And I'm Howard.

[Howard] I have begun unironically using the term magnum opus to describe Schlock Mercenary. Because I… 20 years. 20 years of my life, 20 books went into this. Today, we are deep diving into book 20, Sergeant in Motion. The title of which comes from a maxim, "A sergeant in motion outranks a lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on." When I wrote that title, I knew that the structure of this book needed to involve splitting up the cast and sending Schlock off on his own, doing something stupid and chaotic and destructive and ultimately heroic. Until about the time that I'd… Until I'd actually started writing strips, I didn't know exactly what those things were going to be. I had just blocked out kind of the positions of the cast members. As I mentioned in the previous episode… As I mentioned in the episode we recorded previously, we… Those both mean the same thing. It's early, and I'm tired. This formula is super simple. You split people up, and then you bring them back together, and that creates a natural structure for a story, and it can be very satisfying. I feel like that formula worked.

[Mary Robinette] You're also doing interesting things, like, one of the problems with the modern era is… In the old days, you split people up and it was fine because they were off on their own, and now, it's like you split people up and they have cell phones. In your world, they have sentient communications and all sorts of things. So I think that you did some interesting things there, like, to cause different ways that the comms communication was a conflict, like, when Schlock is dealing with a frag suit that talks back to him.

[Howard] Yes. The frag suit that talks back to him was a last-minute addition because I realized that I did not want to resort to thought bubbles to find out what Schlock was thinking. I had to have a foil for him. Giving him a foil who was a… In the Schlock Mercenary universe, artificial intelligence is a person, and synthetic intelligence is a clever set of algorithms that almost arise to personhood. Having him treat a synthetic intelligence as if it was an artificial intelligence, and having that entity eventually reach artificial intelligence felt really beautiful to me. You treat someone like a person, whether or not they quote unquote deserve it, and ultimately, one day, they become a person and thank you for it. That just… I was not expecting to get to put that in, and there it was.

[DongWon] One of the really important things about you deciding to add that character in, which is, one, it's very hard to be funny by yourself.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Howard] Oh, yeah.

[DongWon] So, that gives Schlock such an opportunity to just bounce off of someone, and have punchlines and be goofy and also talk through what he's thinking in his process. The other is that [garbled] doing some pretty messed up stuff through a lot of this. He's eating sentient people pretty much constantly through the last book.

[Mary Robinette, Howard, chorus] Yeah.

[DongWon] So having an anchoring emotional thing that allows a level of sweetness and morality and all of those things, and gives him… He is treating this synthetic intelligence as if it's a person, and so we can see a side of Schlock that we wouldn't normally… Wouldn't be able to see if he was just chowing down on things for this length of that…

[Howard] In… I don't remember the book number. It's the book where Schlock ends up briefly jailed for a barroom brawl, and has this big emotional arc about immortality, and how immortality now makes him very worried because if someone dies, then some of the futures that could have been created by them are gone, even if you bring them back. One of the neighbor kids who reads Schlock Mercenary, friend of my kids, was over talking to my kids and came to me and said, "Why did you have to give Schlock a personality arc?" Because suddenly the amoral, not quite Everyman, but the id of the strip was now reflecting on who he was and was maybe less willing to devour things with wild abandon. The answer was because I know that by the end of the story, I have to have some measure of conflict there. He has to be asking himself a question before he devours everything in sight.

[Erin] But I do like that he devours… You know what I mean?

[Laughter]

[Erin] Everything in sight. Then, I was curious… I think you mentioned it in a previous episode, the idea that like somebody had said to you, like, Schlock eats it. That's sort of how the conflict is resolved. You managed to take something that is both like core to the story you're telling but also take it as such an epic scale. I'm curious, like, sort of how you got there? Because it's such a cool way of [garbled]

[Howard] Oh, there's a James P. Hogan series, the Giants novels. I can't remember the titles of the individual books. But in one of them, we do some archaeology and we discover that there was a race of creatures living on Mars, and as we do the archaeology and learn more about them, we realize that because of a quirk of biology, there were no carnivores. Because everything that was made of meat was toxic to eat to everything else that was made of meat. But plants were fine. That grew into their morality, to where they… Creatures never ate other creatures, they only ate plants. I remember thinking about that and thinking about Schlock and thinking about the dark matter entities and wondering what if the dark matter entities never learn to eat each other. Oh, no. Oh, no. Schlock has discovered how to obtain energy from his enemies in a way that's absolutely unthinkable to them. That made it more delightful and more horrific. As I've said before, in one sense, Schlock really is the… Really is a movie monster. He's a…

[DongWon] [garbled]

[Howard] He's a walking horror show.

[DongWon] You made one interesting decision around being able to eat the dark matter monsters, which is that they don't actually die, though. He doesn't digest them all the way. He takes energy from them, but they're still left at the end of it. What was behind that thought process, and sort of why you made that choice?

[Howard] Um, it felt to me like an outgrowth of the weird physics I'd arrived at. They had… In order to do battle with baryonic matter… baryonic matter, us, non-baryonic matter, things made of dark matter… In order to do battle with baryonic matter, they needed a way to recover from being destabilized. I've come up with this whole physics of metastable dark matter and stable dark matter and very proud of it. Not going to dive into the details of that right now. But they had a way where when they were destabilized, there was a copy of them made so that… They were stored as data. So that they could be regenerated, so the soldiers could go back to fight. I thought, you know, when Schlock is eating them, that will probably set off that mechanism and they will have a memory of being eaten and… Oh, that's even worse. Oh, I love that so much. Oh, not only are you dead, but you remember dying and what it felt like and… That was very delightful for me.

[Laughter]

[Mary Robinette] It's funny how many things are… For a storyteller, are driven by, oh, this is horrible.

[DongWon] Yeah. Oh, this will make you feel bad. Yeah.

[Howard] I can't remember when I learned that lesson, but it was… It was fairly early on that I discovered that sometimes when you think of the worst thing that could possibly happen, and, as an author, that is your cue for… That is either the dark side of the soul or… But, that has to go in the book. Because your readers are going to think of that and they're not going to want it to happen. That's a tool in the toolbox. There are so many more tools in the toolbox that I want to talk about. But we're going to take a break first.

[DongWon] Hey, writers. I love to cook. It's one of my main ways of winding down from a hectic week, and it's a way I show care for my favorite people. But a busy fall schedule doesn't always leave you with a lot of time to prepare. With Hello Fresh, I can actually get a wholesome meal together even when I haven't had time to run to the store or figure out a menu. With their quick and easy recipes and 15 minute meals, you can get a tasty dinner on the table in less time than it takes to get takeout or delivery. And Hello Fresh is more than just dinners. You can also stock your fridge with easy breakfasts, quick lunches, and fresh snacks. Just shop Hello Fresh Market and add any of these tasty time-saving solutions to your weekly box. To start enjoying America's number one meal kit, you can go to hellofresh.com/50WX and use code 50WX for 50% off plus 15% off for the next two months.

[Erin] Have you ever felt like you were living the same day over and over again? And everyone around you is getting murdered? If you want to feel like that, you should play The Sexy Brutale, which is a really lovely game that came out two years ago for PlayStation, Windows, Xbox one. In it, you are trapped in a manor house and everyone around you is dying, everyone is being murdered, and you get to go through and stop each person from being murdered one at a time. It's an amazing game of looping and learning. Each time you go through the game, you learn something new about the characters and eventually about who you are and why you are stuck in this place. It is one of my favorite short games to play. So definitely check out The Sexy Brutale.

[Howard] Welcome back. I promised more tools in the toolbox. A big one for me was PBS Space-Time podcasts…

[Laughter]

[Howard] I watched this… I listened to this podcast or watched… YouTube show. Watched this YouTube show. There was an episode on ways in which the universe could end. One of them talked about whether matter was stable or metastable. It was this idea that during the Big Bang, things stabilize, but maybe we were like trapped in a little valley, halfway down a cliff, and sufficient energy might push matter into a new stable state and that state would propagate at light speed across the universe, destroying everything, and that would be the end of it all. Which is very scary and very depressing. Then I started thinking about dark matter and realized, you know, dark matter can't… The way we understand it. Real physics. It doesn't interact with matter, and it doesn't really interact with itself. It falls… There's gravitational attraction. But when to dark matter particles fall towards each other, they don't collide and interact, they just fall through. Because if they fell and interacted, there'd be an energy release that we'd observe. So I thought, well, dark matter doesn't work the way I want it to work. What if metastable dark matter as all of these interesting particles, but something about the Teraport is what… That thought cascaded from stuff I'd been writing 10 years ago. Teraport and Teraport area denial damages dark matter. Oh! It pushes it out of the metastable state into the stable state. It turns dark matter that's interesting into dark matter that's just foggy. Yes, that came to me… I think halfway through book 17 or 18, I realized, "Oh! Finally I understand how my universe works. I can write this conclusion." So, toolbox? Going back to the well all the time and filling my head with physics.

[Erin] Thinking about some of the things that you're talking about that you know that are beyond what we end up seeing, I'm thinking about sometimes we talk about worldbuilding as, like, it's an iceberg, and there's like the part above the surface and the part below. I'm thinking as you end a project, it's like your last chance to, like, chip pieces off the iceberg and, like, get them to float to the surface so that your readers will see them. I'm curious how you decided sort of what to end up putting on the page, and what will just sort of remain a fun fact that you could tell us, but won't actually be in the actual comic?

[Howard] Um. Well, see, that bit, I knew I needed it, but I couldn't figure out how to make it funny. Then I tried naming the particles…

[DongWon, Mary Robinette] [garbled]

[Howard] That was so much fun, coming up with names for the particles. I realized, "Oh. Umbril. Umbral's a great word. And Umbreon. Wait, Umbreon's a Pokémon."

[Chuckles]

[Howard] Oh, there's the joke.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Howard] There's the joke. Then, making a character moment out of it where two characters are arguing about how stupid it is to call them darkions or whatever. Suddenly, it's a character driven discussion that ends with an intellectual property 4th wall breaking joke about we… They are umbrions, not umbreons, because there's a Pokémon. Interestingly, the idea of breaking the 4th wall, that is… As my humor matured, I did that less. Because that increasingly is… That felt like a cheat. But breaking the 4th wall is something that appears in early Schlock Mercenary and I knew I had to include it in the last book as a… As sort of a meta-call back. Yes, this is the same story you started reading. See, I still make jokes about companies that are bigger than me.

[DongWon] Did you have a list of callbacks that you wanted to hit, or was it just sort of like ad hoc? You're like, "Oh. Here's an opportunity for a Pokémon joke. That's something I used to do that's fun." Or was it like, "Oo. I want to make sure. This is the last volume, I want to hit certain things."

[Howard] At some point in the prep for book 18, I realized that I didn't have a list and I probably wasn't going to make a list. But I should do some reading. So I went back and I just… I read through a lot of old Schlock Mercenary. There were bits that stuck out to me, and there were bits that I thought, "Oh, that would be fun to use," and then I literally forgot about them. Which actually, that's kind of a good litmus test. If you forgotten about it between day one and day two, maybe the idea wasn't that good after all. But the 4th wall jokes stuck out.

[DongWon] I did notice Schlock ends up in a tub.

[Chuckles]

[Howard] Yeah. Oh, yeah. The Ovalkwik. I had to bring Ovalkwik back. That… We talked about retroactive foreshadowing. I think retroactive foreshadowing… For me, that means, "Oh, this thing that I already did, now I can turn it into foreshadowing, despite the fact that that wasn't my original plan."

[DongWon] Right.

[Howard] There was a lot of that. There was a lot of that in the last book.

[Mary Robinette] I have a question that I feel like is probably a little personal for me, but did you include the Jane Austen quote for me?

[Laughter]

[Mary Robinette] Because I felt very spoken to in that moment.

[Howard] Um…

[Mary Robinette] Just say yes.

[Laughter]

[Howard] Oh, no, there's… There was…

[Erin] I'm so glad you noticed.

[Laughter]

[Howard] I kind of had to because I realized that I had done a nod to Robert Jordan like at the beginning of book 4. I knew that I needed to make a literary… As a callback, I needed to make a literary reference and… Yes, the Jane… Because I am friends with Mary Robinette, Jane Austen was where I went first. Because that felt the silliest for Schlock Mercenary.

[Chuckles]

[Mary Robinette] Also, when you're dealing with an intergalactic conflict, a truth universally acknowledged… It's like, well, actually that's not a hypothetical in this particular…

[Laughter]

[DongWon] We are making statements about the universe at this point.

[Howard] Yeah.

[DongWon] Going back to the toolkit, one thing I also wanted to emphasize here is, this is a visual medium. Right? This is not just writing, it's comics. So you're bringing in such big heavy worldbuilding in this volume, you're bringing in theoretical physics that I'd never heard of and I'm pretty up to date on a bunch of stuff. But, like, there was like really cool interesting aspects here. Then you decided… Then you had to figure out how do I render this visually. I can't remember if they're introduced in volume 19 or volume 20, but the first time we see the actual creatures inside the skeletons of these world ships, it was just such a cool visual design. Because we first see the ship, and it just looks like a… Looks like a dog toy, frankly.

[Howard] Yeah.

[DongWon] Almost… Like a ball…

[Howard] A wiffleball.

[DongWon] Then when we realize those holes are for their tentacles… I don't know. Just something about that visual reveal was so good and satisfying. How do you think about those kind of reveals alongside these big technical science reveals or character reveals? How…

[Howard] Sorry, I'm giggling because I remember that moment very clearly. There was a… I can't remember the scientific instrument that they used, but they were making gravitational maps of galaxies and looking at how the fog of dark matter was shaped actually differently than the whorl of stars. The whorl of stars, through a telescope, is very crisp. It's… I mean… It is such a golden age right now for…

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Howard] Beautiful crisp glorious pictures of galaxies. I'm looking at that fuzz, and I wanted better pictures. I wanted more resolution. Drawing dark matter… I had done it in, I think, book 13, I had drawn a dark matter tentacles smashing through something, with the understanding that when concentrated stable dark matter smashes through something, it's only interacting with it via gravity. Several G's of gravity pulling on things in weird ways, which is very destructive, because it can reach through both sides of it. We don't build things for these kinds of stresses. Yeah, there was this image in my head of I'm going to draw something where we can't see the gravity, and then I'm going to draw something where we can, and the picture's going to be really crisp. I did have to talk to Travis about it and say, "The one thing that we can't ever do with the dark matter creatures is not knockback the line work. The line work can't be black. The line work always has to be colored. Which makes a whole lot more work for him. Because he couldn't just flood fill and then paint within the filled areas. He actually had to select the line work and put colors on that as well.

[DongWon] Travis is your colorist?

[Howard] Travis is the colorist since… Oh, gee. Since 2009, 2010. So…

[Mary Robinette] Um. I'm going to ask a variation of a question that I get asked a lot, which is about how many drafts and iterations. But, specifically, what I'm wondering about, since we're talking about wrapping everything up, how many drafts or iterations did you have to do for that very last strip?

[Howard] The very last strip. That's the one where Schlock is… Has stolen food from the dinosaur and is running away from it. That was all one go because it was an epilogue, and I wanted… How do I… Sorry, I'm articulating this badly. That picture was for me.

[Mmm]

[Howard] I knew that I just wanted to draw Schlock running away from a giant fluffy Tyrannosaurus Rex, and that the sergeant is in motion.

[Chuckles]

[Howard] He has stolen someone else's food. But the dinosaur needs to be smiling and Schlock needs to be smiling, and Tagon needs to have kids… Murtaugh is pregnant. All of those elements, they were just there to bring me joy. If other people like them, well, awesome.

[DongWon] It was such a Bill Watterson image. Right?

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[DongWon] It was such a Calvin and Hobbes, of sort of Schlock has always been this sort of Calvin and Hobbes at the same time…

[Laughter]

[DongWon] You know? But getting to have the T Rex in that sort of Hobbes role, it just gave it such dynamism activity. You love drawing dinosaurs so much…

[Mary Robinette] Oh, my goodness.

[DongWon] Like, every time you put a dinosaur in a scene, I can just feel the sheer joy coming through…

[Howard] Yeah.

[DongWon] That you…

[Howard] Yeah.

[DongWon] There's a scene where what's-her-face is riding a dinosaur…

[Mary Robinette] Riding the dinosaur. I was just thinking of that.

[DongWon] It's the best thing. It's just so much fun.

[Howard] Sorlie is… Haley Sorlie…

[DongWon] What a big character.

[Howard] Yeah. Her story's a funny one. When I first introduced that character in book 15, Delegates and Delegation, the outline had her dying. I knew that this was a character that we were going to like, and she was going to do heroic things and then she was going to die heroically. About three quarters of the way through the book, I realized, "No. No." This is… There were some meta-reasons in there. Meta number one was I've introduced a female character who is probably one of the most compelling female characters I've created, and killing her off would be a bad move. Two, she's way too useful to the story. Way too useful to the story. Turning her, through the course of the story, into someone who has… This is subtext rather than… She has a familial non-sexual relationship with Landon and Tenzy. They cuddle, they are friends, but they're completely different species and completely different organic. There is this weird threesome there that I didn't overtly come out and say, "This is an asexual triple marriage." But in my head, I always drew them so they could be that way. I love her. She represents so many different things for me. Of course I had to let her ride a dinosaur.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Laughter]

[Howard] Of course I had to let her ride a dinosaur. How could I not? I… Yeah…

[Mary Robinette] I love the moment when they're like, "You know, this is an actual meat space," and she's like, "That makes it even better."

[Laughter]

[Mary Robinette] I guess it does.

[Howard] Yeah. That was… The whole bit about them traveling all the way to some distant Matrioshka brain, I think is how it's pronounced. Coming up with that solution for Fermi's Paradox, that the great filter is mature species realize it is too dangerous to hang around where life might spawn, because it'll spawn and it'll be dangerous, so we're leaving. All of the grown-ups keep leaving. There's a point where Petey in the earlier book has aspired… Has apotheosis and in his moment of apotheosis, he looks around and he's like, "Where are all the grown-ups?" I loved coming up with that is a solution, and the fact that some of the grown-ups are Earth dinosaurs was just extra fun for me. So… I could talk about the end of Schlock Mercenary for hours and hours and hours. I love this thing so much. It was difficult to end it, for a lot of reasons. I think we'll talk about some of those in our next episode, Business Reasons. But, very unapologetically, I refer to it as a magnum opus because I spent so much time on it. It's been a huge part of me for 20 plus years now. Who's got homework for us?

[DongWon] I have our homework this week. I think, in theme with our topic today, what I want you to do is to go and write a one-page outline. Keep it relatively brief. Make some bullet points about how you want to end your current work in progress. Really, just think through what are the things that are going to provide the narrative resolution, what kind of callbacks you want to have in there, and what emotional beats you want to leave your readers on.

[Mary Robinette] This has been Writing Excuses. You're out of excuses. Now go write.

[Howard] To stay up-to-date with new releases, upcoming in person events like our annual writing retreats and Patreon live streams, follow Writing Excuses on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter, or subscribe to our newsletter.

mbarker

Writing Excuses 18.34: Seventeen Years of Foreshadowing

From https://writingexcuses.com/18-34-seventeen-years-of-foreshadowing

Key points: How can you take what you're writing and lay good foreshadowing in it, how can you look back and edit to put good foreshadowing in, or how can you make what you've already written work? What are the foreshadowing tools? Use stuff that's already on the table. Take what you're already doing and make it intentional. Use both plot foreshadowing and emotional foreshadowing. Foreshadowing can be for red herrings, too! Use alpha readers to find out what needs more emphasis, where to hang a lantern. Foreshadowing leads to a reveal, so make sure the pieces are in place to justify the reveal. Do you have to put foreshadowing in your work? What does foreshadowing do for us? No, not necessarily deliberately. But character drives plot, which is a form of foreshadowing. Plot, worldbuilding, character, theme, it all can contain foreshadowing, so the story makes sense. When you explain a story you are writing to someone, you stop and say, I need to explain X. That's something to foreshadow in your writing! Genre, telling a story, plot beats, they all are kinds of foreshadowing. Plant Chekhov's gun on plenty of mantles, and fire them as needed.

[Season 18, Episode 34]

[Mary Robinette] This is Writing Excuses, Seventeen Years of Foreshadowing.

[DongWon] 15 minutes long.

[Erin] Because you're in a hurry.

[Howard] And we're not that smart.

[Mary Robinette] I'm Mary Robinette.

[DongWon] I'm DongWon.

[Erin] I'm Erin.

[Howard] And I'm Howard.

[Howard] Seventeen Years of Foreshadowing. In the previous episode, we talked about me ramping up to the finale of Schlock Mercenary, and the… I think it was Mary Robinette asked the question, "When did you know what the ending was going to be? When did you know you were going to have a big ending?" There's 17 years of foreshadowing going into the final three years of Schlock Mercenary. Because, even though I didn't know where I was going at the very beginning, I managed to make the early stuff work. That's part of what we want to talk about today is how to take what you're writing and lay good foreshadowing at the very beginning, how to look back at what you've done and edit so that there's good foreshadowing in it, and, when, like perhaps a web cartoonist, you don't have the luxury to go back and edit and put in the foreshadowing, you can make what you've already written work. So, I'm going to pose this to our august body of…

[Laughter]

[Howard] Of hosts. What are your favorite foreshadowing tools? How do you like to do it?

[Mary Robinette] My favorite stuff is actually using things that are already on the table. I very rarely will be writing and think, "Um. I need to put this in because I'm going to use it later. Let me foreshadow this plan that I'm going to do." I'm much more likely to hit a point where I need to use something and then look back at stuff that I've already laid down, grab one of those things, and then go back and tighten it or tweak it and maybe put it in one additional place. The closest I've come to really… It's probably not true, but the closest that I can think of that I've come to doing additional… I mean, intentional foreshadowing in the Glamorous Histories, I was like, "And then Jane uses…" And I said bracket. I was like, "And then Jane," and I said bracket, "uses a technique of glamour that is going to become very important and plot specific later…"

[Laughter]

[Mary Robinette] Then when I got to that point where I knew what that thing was, I came back and dropped it.

[Erin] I'd say I'm a pretty, like, instinctive whatever you call that type of writer these days, pantser or gardener or what have you. So, for me, a lot of times it's figuring out what have I… What's my subconscious already done, similarly, and then make it conscious. Take the things that I'm doing unintentionally and make them intentional. There's a story that I'm working on now that involves rhyming in it, which I promise is better than it sounds, and I realized that the rhymes were happening at random times in the story. I thought, "Well, what if they happened at moments… At specific types of emotional moments?" So I wanted to have these rhymes in the story, but could they be doing more? Then, that way, when you see the rhyme, the fifth or sixth time, even if you don't notice it on some level, you're going to see like that means that there's been a ramp up of emotion. So it's less the plot foreshadowing than an emotional one, but it's because I'm like, okay, if I'm going to do this thing, I might as well do it on purpose.

[Howard] I love that kind of micro-structuring. Absolutely love it. In the mixed mediums, cartooning is words plus pictures, there's even more of it available. The fact that you can cant the camera a little bit to the left or a little bit to the right, and, if when a particular speaker is on, you always skew the camera just a little bit in one direction… It doesn't have to be much, five or 6 degrees is enough. The reader probably won't notice, but the reader's subconscious is going to be on board with there is something about this character that weird, that's tilted. The rhyming, a purely prose version, that's neat.

[Mary Robinette] The other thing that I will sometimes do… I said that I rarely do foreshadowing intentionally, is that sometimes I will, when I'm writing my story stuff, I will foreshadow as a way of laying down a red herring. Because I want the reader to spot it and go, "Oh, oop. She's foreshadowing something that's coming up." Then I don't use it. Like, it's deliberately putting the gun on the mantle with no intention of using it. So I will do that sometimes. Because I… When I am reading and I spot something where the author has put something in, and it's very clearly foreshadowing, it can often make me frustrated, because I can… It reminds me that I'm reading in some ways.

[Howard] It can knock you out of the story because you see… You start seeing the narrative scaffolding and… You're not supposed to see the scaffolding, you're supposed to live in the house.

[Erin] One thing I find really interesting about foreshadowing is to me it's a received action. So, someone has to take up what you are putting down. So, like, sometimes you think you have put so much scaffolding, you're like, "How could anyone not notice it?" People read it and be like, "I did not notice that that one, there was doing all the work that you thought it was doing, because you understand the entire story." So one thing that I find really fun to do about foreshadowing is to do it, and then give the story to someone and say, like, "What did you actually get?" Then adjust from there. I find personally that I read more into things like as a reader, I tend to take the tiniest things and think that they're foreshadowing. So I write that way. It turns out that sometimes I actually need to hit a point harder than I think I needed to. So sometimes what I do is just go back and take a moment that I'm like this was the teeniest bit of foreshadowing and then like shine more of a light on it. Because, to me, it was big, but to the other people it was small. It sort of feels like when you have a crush on someone and everything they do, you think is really momentous, but they're not noticing because it's all in your head. It's the writing version of that.

[DongWon] I've been having this problem a lot, not necessarily the crush part, but I've been having this problem a lot in general, which is, I've been doing a lot of [TDRBG?] GMing. So I've been running [garbled] campaigns and things like that, and I keep doing this thing where when you're starting a campaign, all you're doing is foreshadowing, you're laying out a huge buffet of plot hooks really, which will be foreshadowing things later. Then my players keep looking at me and being like, "We don't know what we're supposed to do now." So I think I'm having that thing of sometimes you really need to hang a lantern in a way that feels very obvious to you, the writer, that won't necessarily feel as obvious to the reader, because he'll be presented with so much information. Right? So putting your finger on the scale to make sure that this thing is highlighted in a certain way is such a challenge to sort of put yourself in the audiences shoes so they're set up to receive that.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah. I think it's… It is that making sure that they notice it, but walking the line between not noticing it and being predictable.

[DongWon] Yup. Exactly.

[Mary Robinette] I think one of the things that happens to the creator is… The reason it's… Like, but it's so obvious, is because you know the end. You know all of the intentionality behind it. The reader does not.

[DongWon] Well, this is where you can hook into pattern recognition in your readers in a really useful way. This is kind of what Erin was talking about a little bit in just… You can set up these rhyming structures, because we've seen heist movies before. So we know when you're going to show the vault in a certain way, we have certain expectations of where that story's going to go. You can leverage these story beats, these tropes, whatever you want to call them, in a way that helps you emphasize the foreshadowing that you want, and then you can either subvert our expectations in terms of the red herring that Mary Robinette was talking about or you can fulfill them in satisfying ways, and then that'll feel, when the reader gets there, they'll be like, "Oh. They were telling me about this 50 pages ago. That's so satisfying." Right? So I think a lot of when you're starting a story, when you're in those early stages, and maybe you do or don't know where you want to go, but a lot of what you want to start doing is start laying out these early parts of different story patterns, and then figure out which ones you want to conclude, and pick up on, and which ones you want to like close the doors on as you go. Right? So, for me, sometimes thinking about those like little micro arcs, of like a character arc or a plot arc, can be really helpful in setting reader expectations and sort of priming the pump for them to get interested in what the eventual foreshadowing is going to result in.

[Howard] Well, the foreshadowing has to lead to a reveal. We will get to that reveal after our thing of the week.

[Mary Robinette] I want to tell you about Babel by R. F. Kuang. This book just blew me away. One of the… I listened to it in audio. I highly recommend the audio edition, which is narrated by Chris Lew Kum Hoi and Billie Fulford-Brown. It is a story of a group of young students in Victorian Oxford who are translation students. It's a story about colonialism. It's a story about patriarchy. It's a story about friendship and found family. The magic system is so exciting, because the power of magic comes in the tension between words that cannot be translated into another language… Or, they can be translated, but that the process of translating, you lose some essential meaning of that. It's just really, really delicious. One of the reasons I wanted to highlight it for you is that she does this beautiful thing where it's this group of friends in the way they interact and behave with each other in the beginning when everything is going well foreshadows the way they are going to interact and behave with each other when things go poorly at the end. It's just… It's lovely because it sets up an inevitability and also is not predictable. Because you are hoping that things will go a different way. It's a beautiful book. One of the reasons I recommend the narration, the audiobook, in particular, is because you get… There are footnotes which are part of the structure of the book. But the footnotes are read by native speakers of the languages, so you can hear how the words are actually intended to be said. So that's Babel by R. F. Kuang.

[Howard] When I was 10 years old, I found a mystery novel and I started reading it, and immediately realized there was highlighting and handwriting all over these pages. I asked my dad what was going on. He said, "Oh, that's one of the books that grandpa read." Like, why did he write in the book? "Well, your grandfather loved reading these mystery novels, and every time he saw something that was a clue, he would write notes about it. He would highlight it. Because he wanted to be able to solve the mystery before the detective did." So he was putting in this conscious effort. I want to go on the record right now and say that is not how my foreshadowing works.

[Chuckles]

[Howard] I write to the reveal. I don't write to you figuring out the reveal. I write to the reveal. So that when a thing happens, you look at it and you say, "Oh, of course that's what happens because there was this bit of foreshadowing." But, to use a silly example, if the camera has panned across gasoline dripping from the bottom of an automobile, then, well, there's going to be an explosion, and when you get the explosion, you're like, "Oh. Because there was gasoline and whatever." But there could also be no explosion because someone grabbed the fire extinguisher. It's… Whatever the reveal is, I want to have the pieces in place so that it feels justified. One of the only places I can remember consciously planning ahead for a big foreshadow was, and I think it was in book 15 or book 16, I had one of the characters talking about Fermi's Paradox. In a galactic society, where there's… The aliens have been around us for a thousand years, what does Fermi's Paradox even mean? Why is it even important? The answer is, well, um, galactic society should be a lot older. This galactic society is only about 40 or 50,000 years old. We are there other ones? What is happening? What is going on here? Having one character puzzling over that, and other people brushing it off, made for good comedy, but it also let me come around to, towards the end of Schlock Mercenary, coming up with my answer to Fermi's Paradox as a way to help drive the end of the story.

[DongWon] So you could have a plot load bearing academic concepts?

[Howard] Exactly. Exactly.

[Mary Robinette] As you were talking, as we've all been talking, it's actually occurred to me that we may be having some listeners out there going, "Oh, I'm not doing any of this." So, let me ask the question, do you have to put foreshadowing in? In your work? Then that leads to the follow-up question of what does foreshadowing actually do for us?

[DongWon] I want to say that, no, you don't have to do it in a conscious and deliberate way. But there is one aspect of this I want to touch on, and we haven't talked about much up until this point, which is one of my favorite modes of storytelling is what I think of as character as destiny. Where, I mean, this is… Game of Thrones is very famous for this, Fonda Lee's books do this incredibly well. There's a mode of storytelling that's very much about the plot is going to derive from these foibles or characteristics or essential aspects of who your characters are, and then how they're going to interact with each other. Right? Circe wants… Loves her children, loves her family, and therefore will do anything to defend them past the point of reason. Right? We know this fact about her. So that is a form of foreshadowing in certain ways for later events when she becomes completely unhinged. Right? Over the… Spoilers, I guess… Deaths of her children. Right? Those little things that character is destiny can operate as a form of foreshadowing. So I guess my answer to your question is, no, you don't have to have it explicitly in there in the way that we've been talking about in terms of like certain plot hooks, setting up certain plot beats later, but it will always kind of be there if you've written your characters well. Because your people… Your characters will make decisions that should make sense to the reader. Therefore, we will always have a certain satisfaction when they make choices that are true to the characters that we've met so far. That is, in itself, its own form of foreshadowing.

[Erin] Yeah, I think a lot of times we think of foreshadowing as such a plot…

[Yeah]

[Erin] Specific thing. Like… It's like a plot thing you need to do. But I actually think that all… I agree, like… Foreshadowing is kind of sense making. You help people make sense of the story. Sometimes you do that in a plot way and sometimes you do that in a worldbuilding way. Like, there is worldbuilding foreshadowing where in order for a thing to exist in your world at the end, it's probably good for people to understand that it is like… That there is something of that in the world earlier on. Otherwise, it feels like a deus ex machina, where it's like, "And then there were spaceships." You're like, "I thought we were in Lord of the Rings, so that was surprising to me." You need to somehow… Maybe there's wreckage of mechanics that people find along the way, and that's a foreshadowing of its own. But I really think that foreshadowing can be… Can, I think, lead people sometimes to put too much of it into the plot, and not enough in other places. Because one of the things I sometimes I find myself doing in stories is like I figured out how to make the plot make sense, but now the characters don't feel like they're in that plot.

[DongWon] Right.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Erin] The characters are just being dragged along by it. They're doing things to foreshadow the action, but their behavior hasn't been foreshadowed, so it doesn't seem true to the character. So I would sort of challenge folks to look for ways in which your story makes sense on every level, character, theme, world, as you move along, and not just think of foreshadowing as something that needs to move the action.

[Howard] For the discovery writer, it's useful to point out that at some level, foreshadowing is the inevitable outcome of the syntax of a narrative. If you have a narrative in which things happen one after the other, you can look at the things that happened earlier and they are foreshadowing for the things that happened later. At some level, that's all foreshadowing is. The larger foreshadowing, the example I gave of Fermi's Paradox, that's the case where I'm now working to an outline and I want to have something big happened. I wanted to be big and satisfying, so I have to do some advance planning. But if you're discovery writing, you can probably read back through your manuscript and find foreshadowing everywhere. Because it's a natural growth of the syntax of the narrative.

[Erin] I actually think humans are natural foreshadowers. But we do it in asides. When you're telling a friend a story about something that's happened to you, you will often pause midway through the story and go, "Okay, but to understand why I hate my boss, you've really got to think about like that time she broke the copier on purpose and I've never forgiven her." Do you know what I mean? We naturally foreshadow, we just don't do it in a very like artful way…

[Chuckles]

[Erin] Because we just stop and go like, "Now you need to know this thing." So, sometimes I find that if you actually talk about your storytelling to other people, you will find yourself explaining the story that you've been writing, and then you'll stop, and you'll be like, "Oh, wait, the thing I didn't explain is X." That's the thing that is really important to foreshadow. So, by doing it like artless Lee like to a friend over a drink, over coffee, you can actually figure out what you need to do more artfully on the page.

[DongWon] I would argue that one of the best storytelling podcast that's out there right now, it's a podcast that's very popular called Normal Gossip, which is people telling gossip stories to each other about normal people. It's not gossip about celebrities, it's gossip about somebody you know. It's the single most funny thing I've ever listened to in my life. But also, it's so useful because it's exactly the stuff that you're talking about. Where each story has to be so beautifully structured and crafted to get the right feeling and rhythm of storytelling out. I love this idea of that's… If we are always naturally foreshadowing because you want to communicate to the person that you're talking to what kind of story are we in? Is this funny? Is this sad? How is this character relevant? What kind… So often, it's like, well, I know that person's going to make some chaotic choices, because you're telling me a story about them. Right? Otherwise, this isn't going to resolve in an ordinary, normal way. We all know it's going to get crazy from here. So I think that's part of the joy of a certain kind of storytelling. So, just by the fact that you are telling a story, you are foreshadowing a certain kind of elements, a certain kind of plot beats. So, in some ways when we talk about foreshadowing as an official technique, it really is just turning the dial up a little bit on some of those features. It's intentionally ratcheting up what are already natural storytelling patterns that we all have, and that you're already doing if you're writing anything.

[Howard] When the next door neighbor's gas grill explodes, and somebody says, "Y'a know, this reminds me of a story," we are all paying attention. Because contextually, you've just foreshadowed something that I'm on board for. I want to start this last little bit by saying we're probably familiar with Chekhov's gun. I had people accuse me of using Chekhov's gun. "Howard, in Schlock Mercenary, there are so many mantles, and so many guns, and so many… We just expect there to be gunfire all over throughout the ending." Yeah, for my own part, I had lots and lots and lots of throwaway gags that I knew I could return to if I needed them in order to make something feel like it was inevitable.

[Howard] I have homework for you. Last week's homework, take one of your favorite things and write a new ending. Homework this week, take a throwaway gag from one of your favorite things. Something that was only a plot point in one episode or in one book or in one scene. Right… Outline a scene in which that turns out to have been foreshadowing for something of huge dramatic import.

[Mary Robinette] This has been Writing Excuses. You're out of excuses. Now go write.

[DongWon] This episode is made possible by our incredible Patreon supporters. To support this podcast and get exclusive access to Q&As, live streams, and bonus content, visit the link in our show notes or go to patreon.com/writingexcuses.

mbarker

Writing Excuses 17.4: The Gun on the Mantel is Actually a Fish

From https://writingexcuses.com/2022/01/23/17-4-the-gun-on-the-mantel-is-actually-a-fish/

Key Points: Red herrings help make the inevitable surprising. Aim for inevitable first, build surprise second. Deconstruct shows and books that have deliberate twists to them. Drop fish into your foreshadowing to keep us distracted. Use the tricks of a stage magician, give us other things to watch. Make the red herring story significant, while the actual foreshadowing is just a small thing on the side. Include clues to support multiple endings. Beware the sudden change, and unintentional storytelling without knowing where you are going. Ambiguity can be useful! Use your context to highlight the wrong thing. Use the character that everyone likes to point the reader in the wrong direction. Synonyms, homonyms, and other misdirection. Make sure you deliver in an enticing, wonderful way.

[Season 17, Episode 4]

[Howard] This is Writing Excuses, The Gun on the Mantel is Actually a Fish.

[Kaela] 15 minutes long.

[Sandra] Because you're in a hurry.

[Megan] And we're not that smart.

[pause]

[Howard] I'm Howard.

[Kaela] I'm Kaela.

[Sandra] I'm Sandra.

[Megan] And I'm Meg.

[chuckles]

[Howard] I was late with my line about who I am. Okay, last episode, we talked about foreshadowing. I described it as creating a thread which makes a surprise inevitable. This episode, we're talking about red herrings. This is where we create the thread which makes the inevitable surprising. As we said last week, aim for inevitable first, and then build the surprise second. Because if you fail at inevitable, you've got a deus ex machina and we're disappointed and bewildered and we feel llike we've been lied to. If you fail at surprise, we're like, "Oh, I saw that coming."

[Which, depending on...]

[Howard] I would much rather have the reader feel like they're smarter than me than feel like they're better than me.

[Laughter. Very true. Very, very true.]

[Howard] So. Red herrings. Let's talk… Some good examples of 'em? Where have you seen them done really well?

[Fish market. [Whisper] I'm kidding.]

[Laughter]

[Howard] Mmm. So tasty.

[Kaela] You just really went for that one, Meg.

[Laughter]

[Howard] Straight in.

[I was going to give a serious answer.]

[Sandra] I think it's useful to look at shows or books that have a deliberate twist to them. Where… A frequently used example of this is the Sixth Sense. Where you have this twist that I can see… The kid sees dead people. Oh, our protagonist is dead is the big twist at the end, and the surprise. And yet it is the surprise that makes you want to go back and rewatch the whole movie and see how absolutely clearly inevitable it was. It was absolutely there. So much there that there are many people who saw it coming from scene one. Some people were not surprised. So you go into the movie and you deconstruct and say where… How did they mislead the majority of the audience into believing that Bruce Willis was alive and interacting with the world? They put him in scene after scene after scene where there's another human in the scene who our brains fill in the blanks, because they are sitting opposite each other in chairs. We assume that there was a part where Bruce Willis knocked on the door and came in and was welcomed and invited to sit down. We don't see any of that. So the show uses the medium and the automatic back and fill that the medium asks of the audience to get us to back and fill something that absolutely wasn't there. So the show actually is getting the audience to create their own red herrings. Which is kind of a cool and interesting thing that that particular show does. So that's one of my examples and it's fascinating to go through and figure out where was I misled.

[Howard] Kaela.

[Kaela] Yeah. I think that's a really good example, particularly leaning into the strengths of your medium to accomplish that. I think one for books was Harry Potter, the first one. I think that was one of the best, like, at least… I mean, admittedly, I was young when I read it, but I still think it holds up really well. The way that they make you think that Snape is the one who's trying to steal the Sorcerer's Stone. Because, by all means, it seems completely reasonable. Snape was the one that was muttering a curse when Harry's broom bucks around and he nearly falls off. Snape seems to hate Harry for absolutely no reason. So you're like, "Yup, I believe he's a bad guy." And, like… There's the cut on his leg after everybody runs through the troll in the dungeon. So we have pieces of evidence that imply that it is him. But when we find out that it's Quirrell, we also suddenly remember that Quirrell was in all of the scenes, that Snape was muttering the counter curse, Quirrell got knocked over by Hermoine's fire stuff, and that broke his concentration for the curse. That Quirrell had run through the dungeon, Snape headed him off, and, like, they were there with Fluffy. Like, they… We forgot Quirrell was there because we were wrapped up with a very good and reasonable explanation of Snape.

[Yeah. And…]

[Howard] The… Oh, sorry. I was just going to say, what you've described here is a pattern that has a tool built right into it. Which is, any time you are laying a piece of foreshadowing, grab a fish and drop a fish next to it.

[Chuckles]

[Howard] Okay? You want to have a red herring in there with your foreshadowing, so that the audience can be misled.

[Sandra] Right. We can also take a… Learn things from stage magicians. Where there's the patter and the hands that are waving because he is moving something from the table in front of him into his pocket. He does this big gesture with his opposite hand and tells a joke because he knows that the audience can only pay attention to a limited number of things at a time. Then there's also that video with the passing the basketballs and the gorilla that dances through the middle of it. Nobody sees the gorilla because we're so busy paying attention to the balls. You can do the same things in what you are creating. You can teach them, and teacher audience, okay, pay attention to the ball. Your job is to count how many times the ball is passed. When, truthfully, you're hiding the gorilla in plain sight. Meg?

[Megan] Yeah. So the idea is to give your red herring story significance while making the actual foreshadowing something that's just happening to the side or… Like, a small joke in the conversation, where we're talking about the big important thing. A show that I think does this very well is The Newsroom by Aaron Sorkin. It has some of my favorite examples of long set up and payoffs for a joke in an episode. I'm going to tell you one that just happened now. The payoff won't be as good because I'm telling you the beginning and the ending right after.

[Howard] Go ahead.

[Megan] You need to imagine there's 40 minutes in between. But there's a news anchor, and he's complaining to his wardrobe assistant that, "Is there something wrong with the pants you give me? Because I keep trying to put them on, and both my legs end up in one side." The assistant's like, "You can't put your pants on, and you think there's something wrong with the pants?"

[Giggles]

[Megan] The A story of this episode is someone is here to do a hatchet job news article about the news agency. He used to date the main producer of the show before she dated the main character, the news anchor. So the reporter and the producer are having a huge argument. She is standing up for the news anchor. She's like, "You don't understand. He is a great man. I mean, he struggles with things, but he's a great man." As she says struggles with things, we see him hop into the scene, trying to put on his pants.

[Laughter]

[Megan] Then he falls over in the background. It's been a half hour since we mentioned the pants, but it just comes back at like the best moment. So… Check out The Newsroom by Aaron Sorkin.

[Howard] Yeah. That's the… As a professional humorist, that sort of thing is something that I use a lot. Sandra mentioned stage magic. In the second edition of X-treme Dungeon Mastery, we call attention to the way in which surprise, for a magician… The deception with a magician there should never be a reveal. They have red herrings, but they are never going to tell you how they perform the trick. Whereas as storytellers, the deception needs to be gentler. It can't be, as we mentioned last week, can't be animating Hans having a loving, kind, totally genuine expression of love while the music cues and the lighting all say this is a good boy for her to be interested in, when in fact, he's just making a play for the kingdom. That's deceptive. We want our reveal, for storytellers, the big payoff is in the reveal. For audiences of magicians, the big payoff is I was deceived and I don't know how. I use the example… We illustrated the example in the book of the trick knife. If the magician says, "Aha, see, this is where I switched out the actual knife for a knife with a collapsing blade. You didn't see it, though, did you? But, yeah, the knife just has collapsing blades. Stab, stab, stab." Big deal. In the movie Knives Out, we are told that there is a knife that has a collapsing blade, and in the very last scene, someone attempts to commit a murder with it, and we find out that they've grabbed the wrong knife, and it is delightful. Because we get to see the trick knife.

[Kaela] Knives Out is a master.

[Howard] I just realized… Oh. Go ahead.

[Kaela] I say, Knives Out is a master class in red herrings and guns on the walls and like, seriously, like, pick it apart.

[Howard] So, very, very many. On the subject of red herrings, I have the book of the week. It is And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. I picked this one because it is arguably the place in which red herring cemented itself in the colloquial… The jargon for a distraction. The character Vera scolds everybody for being distracted, because in the verse that applies to one of the previous character's deaths, a red herring swallowed one, and then there were three. She's saying, "A red herring's swallowed one, that clearly means Armstrong was not dead. There was a distraction here." And Then There Were None is a fine book to read. It's short and it's very tightly woven.

[Megan] In my eighth grade English class, I disagreed with the ending. I remember meeting with my teacher afterwards, because she was talking about, like, it was inevitable. This is the only way it could end. I'm like, challenge accepted.

[Laughter]

[Megan] I wrote a different ending as to who the murderer was and what they were doing. I pointed out it could have happened this way. She's like, "Okay, Megan. It's not that deep. But good job."

[Laughter]

[Howard] Here's the thing. This is… I can't remember where I got this. I could be speaking out of class. But I have heard said that Agatha Christie often wrote these things three quarters of the way through without knowing who the murderer was herself, and then went back and made sure that the foreshadows in the red herrings all aligned and she had a proper ending in place. Which means if you… Depending on how much of the book you let yourself rewrite, yeah.

[Sandra] Yeah. Well, it's fascinating, the movie Clue, I don't know what year it was, but it's the Tim Curry movie Clue, which did an experiment that they actually filmed three different endings with three different murderers. Then they sent different endings to different theaters.

[Chuckles]

[Sandra] So, theoretically, you could go see the movie in multiple different theaters and get to see the three endings. Now, in the age of streaming, they just play all three endings one after each other.

[Howard] Yeah, they've concatenated the endings and they've given the third one, they're saying, "But this is what really happened."

[Sandra] Right. But the whole thing is written so that there are clues to support every single ending. Which is valuable as a writer to deconstruct, because the vital clue for one ending is a red herring for a different ending, and so you can pull that apart.

[Megan] So, the writers' strike of 2002 hit a lot of shows very hard. One of the shows it hit quite hard was the procedural Bones…

[Yes]

[Megan] Which is one of my favorite shows of all time. There is a recurring murderer in the third season. Which is rare for this show. Normally, we get our guy every time they show up. But there is a recurring murderer that is a cannibalistic cultist that eats people's faces. Like the Sith, there's always a master and an apprentice. At the very end of the season, it is revealed that someone on our team is the apprentice of the murder. Even though throughout about 90% of the season, this person has been making discovery after discovery, helping us track down the murderer. So you try and rewatch that season, and there is no clear moment when this character betrays us until you can see in the writers' room that… Well, or lack of a writers' room, I'm not entirely sure how the writers' strike wrapped up the season. But…

[Chuckles]

[Megan] They had to cut the season early, and about two episodes from the end, this character starts actively working against us. But it's clear to see that that was a decision made much later on in the season, and it doesn't logically follow. So what we have earlier aren't red herring, it's just unintentional storytelling before we knew where we were going. Because you can't go back… [Garbled]

[Howard] It was the writers' phone booth, not room, because…

[Yeah]

[Howard] Phoning it in. Because… That joke would have played better if I told it sooner. What other tools do we have for creating satisfying red herrings in order to make the inevitable surprising?

[Kaela] I think one of the things that… You have to use this carefully, but ambiguity is a very helpful tool when depicting things. Because ambiguity is the… Or almost an objectivity. Like, this is what happened. These are the facts of what happened. But a lot of storytelling is contextualizing what has happened. So, if you can show what happened and either just leave it there as if it's not important or touch on the… Like, use your context to put only one part of it in focus, without obscuring the view of the rest of what happened, you can use that ambiguity to your advantage to get people to look at the wrong thing or to pay attention to the wrong thing. That still makes sense, but you haven't hidden anything from them. You're just leaving it ambiguous or uncommented on.

[Howard] One of the things that I try to do is take the character who is the most charismatic, the character that everybody likes the most, and have that person look at the wrong thing. The right thing is someplace else, but the person we like is looking at the wrong thing. Now, obviously, you can't do this all the time, or you're just like, "Okay. Check everything in the room that he didn't look at. That's a possible clue. That list of things will thread to the answer." But, yeah, the audience is going to follow… They're going to follow the funny, they're going to follow the cool turns of phrase, the… When I write, I try and put the funny around the wrong thing enough of the time that people mislead themselves.

[Kaela] The power of misdirection. Like you were talking about with the magician's stuff, where you're shoving the context over here. That doesn't mean that you turn out the lights on everything else and you are deceiving them, but you're like, "Hey, look at this cool thing." I love using a trusted, likable character to do that. Where you're like, "Oh, I love this character. I appreciate this character." Or even "I trust this character, they're really smart." Then, you're like, "Oh, but they didn't have all of the picture either. They didn't tell me that this thing was the answer, but I thought it was."

[Chuckles]

[Howard] Sandra. Sorry.

[Sandra] A quick set of tools depending on what medium you're working in. If you're in a prose medium, you can use synonyms and homonyms carefully. That's a potential tool depending on what you're writing. Auditory, then you want things that sound the same but mean different things. Then visual mediums, you can do visual misdirection again. So it's all… Just another set of tools to think about. Meg?

[Megan] I want to kind of wrap this up by saying it's okay if the audience guesses what's coming, if you can deliver on it in a very enticing way. That's Chekhov's cauldron of hot lead is coming back. Because I had just assumed they were going to put on some red and orange lights when it's time to spill it, because we're in a small theater, we're inside. They set off fireworks inside the building.

[Gasp]

[Megan] There was just a fountain of real live sparks and fire on the stage. So I knew the scene was coming, and just didn't care. Then they delivered with an actual explosion. I was like, "Oh. I was wrong. Oh, my gosh." So, that was great. That was wonderful.

[Howard] The 1812 overture…

[Chuckles]

[Howard] Done by the high school, in which the sheriff is backstage firing his shotgun into a bucket.

[Laughter. Yeah.]

[Howard] Sandra, I think you got this week's homework. We could keep talking and talking and talking about this. We need to get people homework.

[Sandra] Yeah. The homework is, this is a paired episode with last week's episode. So, do the reverse of last week's homework. Instead of finding a thing in the beginning and writing a scene at the end, find something that is important at the end and find a place early where you can rewrite the scene to put that on the mantle in some way. Then, maybe, take some of the tricks and tools to magician misdirect so that it's there, but it is not the focus of attention. So…

[Howard] Outstanding. This has been Writing Excuses. You are out of excuses. Now go write.

mbarker

Writing Excuses 16.32: First Page Fundamentals – THE KILLING FLOOR, by Lee Childs

From https://writingexcuses.com/2021/08/08/16-32-first-page-fundamentals-the-killing-floor-by-lee-childs/

Key points: A thriller introducing an iconic character. Incomplete sentences, pop, pop. Foreshadowing. A very brief cold open, and flashback. Layers of questions about what's going on and what's going to happen. Short, blunt, simple sentences, with rich visual imagery.

[Season 16, Episode 32]

[Dongwon] This is Writing Excuses, First Page Fundamentals – THE KILLING FLOOR, by Lee Childs.

[Mary Robinette] 15 minutes long.

[Dan] Because you're in a hurry.

[Howard] And we're not that smart.

[Dongwon] I'm Dongwon.

[Mary Robinette] I'm Mary Robinette.

[Dan] I'm Dan.

[Howard] And I'm Howard.

[Dongwon] Okay. So, this week we're doing the last of our three deep dives. We're going to do a close reading of the opening page of one of my favorite thrillers that introduces the character of Jack Reacher, who will be the protagonist of this series for however many books there are, 10, 11 books. I think he's an incredibly iconic character in the field of thrillers. Yeah, so we're going to have a quick reading of the first couple paragraphs of most of the first page here.

[Mary Robinette]

I was arrested in Eno’s diner. At twelve o’clock. I was eating eggs and drinking coffee. A late breakfast, not lunch. I was wet and tired after a long walk in heavy rain. All the way from the highway to the edge of town.

The diner was small, but bright and clean. Brand-new, built to resemble a converted railroad car. Narrow, with a long lunch counter on one side and a kitchen bumped out back. Booths lining the opposite wall. A doorway where the center booth would be.

I was in a booth, at a window, reading somebody’s abandoned newspaper about the campaign for a president I didn’t vote for last time and wasn’t going to vote for this time. Outside, the rain had stopped but the glass was still pebbled with bright drops. I saw the police cruisers pull into the gravel lot. They were moving fast and crunched to a stop. Light bars flashing and popping. Red and blue light in the raindrops on my window. Doors burst open, policemen jumped out. Two from each car, weapons ready. Two revolvers, two shotguns. This was heavy stuff. One revolver and one shotgun ran to the back. One of each rushed the door.

[Dongwon] So, the two examples we've done so far have been very high-minded, very beautiful language, very high prose. I mean, we're talking two master stylists of the American canon here. In fact, a lot of times, when I'm on Twitter, I will see somebody start to make fun of Lee Childs' writing. They'll flag it as quote unquote bad writing. I could not disagree with them more. I think this is some of the most effective writing for the genre that we are talking about, the character that we're talking about. I think there is a rhythm and a beauty and a poetry to it all on its own. It is not trying to paint an incredibly moving, chilling Gothic picture, it is not painting the rich interiority of a depressed person, it is instead engaging with how a particular person sees the world and how that makes them good at two things, investigating and extreme violence.

[Howard] Calling back to the discussion of asking questions and then answering them. "I was arrested in Eno's diner." Well, I have a lot of questions already. "At 12 o'clock." You know, the time at which you were arrested was not one of the questions I had.

[Chuckles]

[Howard] But thank you for the additional information. "I was eating eggs and drinking coffee." Okay, that's also not one of the answers I needed, but thank you for completing the picture. Then, "A late breakfast, not lunch." Oh, wait. Eggs, coffee, 12 o'clock. Maybe I should have been asking that question. But, no, again, that's not the question I had, but thank you for completing the picture. I love the way it works, because with each reveal quote unquote, we're being given information that isn't what we asked for, but which completes a picture, and the tone of it says, "Hey, that first question you had about me getting arrested? Pfft. That doesn't actually matter. We'll get to what matters later. Let me tell you about my eggs."

[Dongwon] Well, the thing that's implicit in that is his superiority as an investigator, right? It's not in the Sherlock Holmes, I'm like I'm going to prove I'm so much smarter than you. But there is an element to this, it's like, "Hey, dummy. You didn't ask important questions, which is what was happening. Why was I here?" All of those things that led up to this moment. You start to get a sense of how does Reacher's brain work. How does he see the world? How does he, like, put all of these things together? I love the inferences that they can pull from this. A thing that we will later learn about Reacher is that he is fundamentally homeless, he doesn't have a home. He's itinerant. So he doesn't have a car either. So that whole wet and tired after a long walk in the heavy rain from the highway to the edge of town… Why was he doing that? Why was he walking through the rain to get to this diner to have this late breakfast? Also, just so many bad things have happened to him already by the end of this paragraph, like, that's not a fun way to be, he's getting arrested, and yet, we don't get rage, we don't get anger, we don't get depression. We just get, "Eh. It's a Tuesday."

[Chuckles]

[Mary Robinette] Yeah. The other thing that I notice about this is the way… Again, I always tend to look at punctuation, because of the audiobook narrator background. There's so many incomplete sentences in this. When he's describing things, it's these quick pops of things. Brand-new, built to resemble a converted railroad car. Like, that's not… That is… That's the entirety of it. There is no verb there. Well, built, I guess. But it's just… These incomplete sentences that just give you these pops of his notice. It's like… For me, what it mimics is kind of the way his eyes are darting around and looking at things. It's like, "I noticed this, I noticed that, I noticed this." I don't linger on anything, because I can't afford to linger on things. I have to keep moving forward.

[Dongwon] My guy doesn't have time for verbs, what are you talking about?

[Mary Robinette] Yeah.

[Dongwon] Who needs subjects to sentences? Objects? Forget about it.

[Mary Robinette] These are ridiculous things. Grammar? I don't have time for grammar. I'm wet and tired. I gave you a subject verb right there. I was wet and tired. What more do you want from me?

[Dan] Yeah. I…

[Howard] Had this been written by Melville or MacLaine, there would be semicolons.

[Laughter]

[Mary Robinette] Right!

[Dongwon] Exactly.

[Howard] There would be a truck fun of semicolons.

[Chuckles]

[Dongwon] [garbled]

[Howard] In order to capture that voice.

[Dongwon] But you said MacLaine when you meant Jackson. I think you meant Shirley MacLaine instead of Shirley Jackson.

[Laughter]

[Mary Robinette] Very different people.

[Howard] You're right. I did mean Shirley Jackson.

[Dan] I would read either a horror novel or a thriller novel written by Shirley MacLaine.

[Dongwon] Absolutely.

[Dan] That sounds wonderful. So, I find it really delightful that people kind of mock this language. In large part, because, that is, I think, fundamentally, a bit of genre bias. That this can't be good writing because it is airport bestseller thriller. But who this language reminds me most strongly of is Cormac McCarthy who is considered to be one of our best living writers. It's because this is not considered literary fiction that the exact same writing style that leaves out verbs and has short, punchy, very descriptive painterly sentences suddenly doesn't count anymore because of the genre that it's in. But if you look at this, the first sentence of that third paragraph is enormous. It is 2 to 3 times longer than any other sentence in here. That always jumps out at me. Like, why does this merit so much extra time and attention? The sentence is, "I was in a booth at a window, reading someone's abandoned newspaper about the campaign for a president I didn't vote for last time and wasn't going to vote for this time." There's so much in their. There's… It's such a… Not just long, but a complicated sentence. Which forces your brain to kind of look at that and say, "Well, why does this deserve more than the others?" Not having read the book… I'm three for three now, on not having read Dongwon's big examples. I don't know why that one gets more attention than the others. But it's…

[Dongwon] But it's…

[Dan] Go ahead.

[Dongwon] I think it's a little bit of the person slipping through the detective. Right? You just get this digression where he can't contain his irritation with the world. He can't contain the reasons why he's chosen to exit society and live this itinerant life. Right? He's an outsider, an outsider by choice, because he can't even be bothered to care about who's President, because to him, it doesn't matter and it won't matter because whoever it is, it sucks. Right?

[Mary Robinette] Well, structurally, what he's doing, like, every time he's got a longer sentence, it is actually a sentence about him. "At 12 o'clock, I was eating eggs and drinking coffee," is longer. "I was wet and tired after a long walk and heavy rains." "I was in a booth at a window, reading somebody's abandoned newspaper." It's… When we get even a hint of interiority that we linger on things. But the other thing I think is that part of the reason that he stretches that out is because the character's a little bit bored. This is… It's not en… It's not so much that we get bored, too. It's just enough for us to say, "Oh, he was there for a little while reading this. Then stuff started going down."

[Dongwon] Which he's still not interested in.

[Mary Robinette] He's still not interested. Exactly. Exactly.

[Mary Robinette] I do bef… I do need to pause us for the book of the week, and then we'll come back and talk about some more things. The book of the week this time is one that I want to talk about that Dan wrote.

[Dan] Yay.

[Mary Robinette] So, Ghost Station by Dan Wells is also a… It's a Cold War spy thriller. I listened to the audiobook, which is fantastic. It's beautifully narrated. It is not science fiction or fantasy, so those of you who know Dan that way, this is straight up historical fiction. It's right… Right like a week or so after the [inaudible]

[Howard] Berlin airlift.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah. It's right after the Berlin wall goes up. It is twisty, it is tightly paced, you're deeply in the main character's head, who's a cryptographer. What he notices and doesn't notice is so important to the entirety of the book. This is… It's a great book. One of the things were going to be talking about when we come af… Come back from me raving about how much I love this book, and I loved it a lot, is we're going to be talking about foreshadowing. Listening to this book and listening to it twice, it is, in and of itself, a master class and how to handle foreshadowing.

[Dan] Well, thank you.

[Dongwon] One other thing I want to point out, which is a very small note here. But we've been talking a lot about how saying your book should be for somebody, not for everybody. But he does something that is so canny in this newspaper line where he talks about a campaign for a President that I didn't vote for last time and wasn't going to vote for this time. I don't care where you are on the political spectrum, you feel that, right? You could be left, you could be right, you could be a libertarian, you could be a communist. Anybody is going to read that line and be like, "Yeah. That President. I know which one you're talking about." They're all… Everyone has a different person in mind. It's so smart that he doesn't alienate anybody, but still talks about politics, because that's how we all feel about politics, right? So it's just this tiny little moment where sometimes withholding specificity can open the door to identification. Even though most of the time the more specific you are, the more you're going to find that connection.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah. The reason he can get away with it here is because he does not care about it.

[Dongwon] Yeah.

[Mary Robinette] So he's being nonspecific about a thing he doesn't care about.

[Dongwon] Exactly.

[Mary Robinette] But I want to talk about the foreshadowing which is that he… He opens with, "I was arrested at…" And then he… Essentially, what he does is everything that follows that is a flashback. Until the arrest happens. So he's saying, "Bear with me. Bear with me, I'm going to get to the good stuff." So that's… We can call that foreshadowing, although it's… Or we can call it a very brief cold open, and then flashback. But he also does some other interesting foreshadowing in here that I'm going to have Dongwon talk about.

[Dongwon] Yeah. So I think the other foreshadowing that's going on here is… The thing that makes all of this remarkable is his complete disinterest in his complete lack of fear about getting arrested. That tells us so much about who he is as a person. One thing is that he's white, he's a man, he has all these elements that don't make him afraid. But also, he's police. He was formerly a military police, which is a thing that will learn later. So he has a connection to these people. He's not afraid of them, he knows how they operate. Then the thing that comes immediately after where we stopped the reading is that this operation was for me. He knows they're coming for him, not the cooks, not the waitress. He's the target here because he knows he's a dangerous person, or capable of great danger. What this is all setting up is that the police are interested in him, that they're not interested in him because he committed a crime. They're interested in him for some other reason. That's adding this layer of foreshadowing, adding these layers of questions as to what is going on, what's going to happen. Now, what's going to happen is he's going to be forced into working for the police to help them find the killer, right? There's such an expectation across the structure of so many of these thrillers, but again, he's blasé about men with shotguns and handguns charging at him is indicative of both his control of the situation and that foreshadowing, that foreshadowing that he knows that he can be useful to them and that that's why they want him at the end of the day, not because he is a criminal.

[Dan] Yeah. Now, one of the kind of key principles of a character introduction is that we need to know not only who this person is but why do we like them. This extreme competence and lack of fear that you're talking about is a big part of why we start to like this guy. But I'm reading ahead a little bit, and in the next paragraph, he has this huge thing where he talks about reason after reason that he knows they're coming for him and for nobody else. So what does he do? He finishes his eggs, and then he puts a five dollar bill under his plate. Because he knows he's about to get arrested, he knows he's not going to have time to pay, but he wants to make sure that this diner doesn't get shafted out of the money he owes them. That says an incredible amount about the character.

[Dongwon] One last thing I want to bring up is this language isn't beautiful. It's short sentences, it's blunt sentences, it's very simple. But actually, the imagery is quite beautiful. He pauses in the middle of this scene to say, "Outside the rain had stopped, but the glass was still pebbled with bright drops." Then he like kind of jumps forward to "light bars flashing and popping, red and blue light on the raindrops on my window." He's pausing for these rich visual images. I know exactly what this diner looks like. I can see it in my mind. I can feel the vinyl of those booths. I can smell it. You know what I mean? He's so evocative with his imagery. We get caught up in the staccato pacing of it, his observations, that sort of like military mind looking for the threats and dangers. But the writer behind that is showing us a rich and textured world. So, just because you're being blunt, doesn't mean you can't have beauty in what you're doing. That you can't have aesthetics really coming forward in a powerful way. One of the things that makes this work so well for me is it's operating on like all these different layers at once. It's just firing on every cylinder, character, plot, setting, writing, all those things are really coming into play here in a way that I find incredibly exciting and absolutely makes me want to turn to the next page and find out, okay, what happens when the cops get in the door? Okay, what happens when he gets to the station? Okay, what happens at the next step of the investigation? Everything is just pulling me forward like a freight train. For me, I find it irresistible.

[Mary Robinette] Yeah. I would also argue, having… Since we just did the master classes with Amal about poetry, that this is actually beautiful language, and that if you took this and did a paragraph break where most of these periods are, that… And presented a chunk of this as free verse poetry to someone, that they would believe you and would talk about the capture of individual elements.

[Dan] Yeah. Well, this has a lot of that density of kind of meaning that we talked about with Amal. Sentences like here "I saw the police cruisers pull into the gravel lot." That's a visual detail, but that's also an audible detail. Because we can hear instantly what tires on gravel sounds like. We know that, and it's very familiar. There's a lot of different sensory information all packed into very small spaces.

[Howard] Yeah. I noticed, scanning back over it, that he doesn't use comparison to describe things. There are places where he uses words that might more commonly be used to describe other things. "They were moving fast and crunched to a stop," gives us a sound effect as they are stopping. But it's very straightforward description. He doesn't compare the red and blue lights on the raindrops to something else to help us see red and blue flashing through the raindrops. He just calls it like it is. It's very direct.

[Mary Robinette] That is consistent with the character.

[Mary Robinette] Which brings us to our homework. Dongwon, I think you have that this week.

[Dongwon] So, I think our homework is to sort of take what's been done here, and take a lesson from that. Write an introduction to your story that focuses on entirely the character's view of the world. Maybe, again, take that scene that you worked on for the past couple homeworks, and rewrite it again. Not necessarily the character reflecting on their interiority, but how does the character interact with the world? How do they see the world, both in mechanical and philosophical ways? How is what is happening in the world around them filtered through their point of view? When we say point of view, this is what we're talking about.

[Mary Robinette] All right. This has been Writing Excuses. You're out of excuses, now go write.

mbarker

Writing Excuses 15.33: The Long, Dark Second Act of the Soul

From https://writingexcuses.com/2020/08/16/15-33-the-long-dark-second-act-of-the-soul/

Key Points: How do you make the second act interesting? When you're stuck, make something happen. Also, admit that it is going to be rewritten. Think about the second act as the fun part, where trailer scenes come from. Play with things, build fun scenes. Connect the dots! Know what you have to do, and find the most exciting ways to do it. Treat your chapters and scenes like episodes, with plenty of escalating miniature arcs. Act one, introduce things, Act three, blow them up. Act two, make trailer moments, show us a new context. Fill the second act with try-fail cycles. Foreshadowing moments, little lessons and pieces of information building towards the resolution. Use the inherent tension of how. Make the problem larger, involve more characters, expand the scope. Try-fail cycles can give the reader some awesome, too! It's not just a hamster wheel, more of a winding path towards the climax. Character change. Don't worry too much about this during writing, but use it for outlining, revision, and when you get stuck. Get your Muppet chest buster.

[Mary Robinette] Season 15, Episode 33.

[Brandon] This is Writing Excuses, The Long, Dark Second Act of the Soul.

[Victoria] 15 minutes long.

[Dan] Because you're in a hurry.

[Howard] And we're not that smart.

[Brandon] I'm Brandon.

[Victoria] I'm Victoria.

[Dan] I'm Dan.

[Howard] And I'm Howard.

[Brandon] Howard named this episode, if you couldn't tell.

[Laughter]

[Brandon] Second acts. Let's talk about second acts. We got a lot of questions about how to make middles of your story interesting. One question is, "I'm pantsing my SF book and started with a vague wouldn't it be a cool idea to begin with and went from there. I quite like how the character's progressing, but I'm basically stuck in the second act."

[Howard] The best advice that I've got for pantsers. It's in two parts. The first part is, when you are stuck like this, make something happen. Blow something up, burn something down, a couple of people get in a fight, just make something happen. The second is admit to yourself that this is going to need to be rewritten. That you may need to chop off the front, you may need to rewrite the ending, you may need to prune bits out of the middle. But, for me, when I pantsed, getting unstuck was way more important than sitting down and outlining the end. On several occasions, that exercise of getting unstuck… I'm going to make something really exciting happened… Reinvigorated me and I realized, "Oh. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's what I wanted to do." And off I go. The thing, in about half the cases, didn't end up exploding. It did something else.

[Dan] So, one of the things that made me change the way I think about second acts was I was reading a screenwriting book. It was talking about the beginning, the middle, and the end of the story. In talking about the second act, it said, "This is the fun part where most of the scenes in the trailer come from." I thought I've never thought of it that way. This is the part where the characters have entered a new situation or they've gained some new powers, they're doing something new and they're playing with all of those new things. So now I try to put that into my second acts, and say, this isn't just the part you slog through to get to the end. This is where you get to play with all your fun toys and build the fun scenes that are going to end up in the trailer.

[Victoria] I mean, the hard part is, right… The first act, you get to introduce all your toys. The third act, you get to make them blow up. You get to put them where they're going to land. In the second act, somehow, you have to get between those two points. I mean, I fully admit, I am not a pantser. But, even before my extreme outlining days, where I am now like finding so much joy in execution, I would try and give myself what I used to call the connect-the-dots theory. Which I would try and make between 3 to 6 points in my story. Even if I didn't know where the story was going or how I was going to get between those two points, even having three meant that I had something I was moving towards. I could say, "Okay, here I am in the story, and I have this one spot, one thing I know I want to have happen before the end, and I am moving toward it. What's something that could happen between here and there?" And I figure out another dot. Now I've got half the distance between. I go, "What's something that could happen?" You're essentially playing a choose your own adventure game. I had a friend who used to say, "How do you make it worse?" Basically, like, she wrote a zombie novel, and the zombies chased these two kids up the tree. There up the tree and it seems like it's pretty bad. The question is how do you make it worse. She set the tree on fire. Right? Like, it's that moment. Sometimes it's just finding ways to play, but I do think this is the hard part. It can't just be play, because you also need to progress the story. Nothing is more frustrating than when you get to a really interesting book that has an amazing first act, you get to the second act, and all of a sudden, they're in the fire swamp, right? They're just like wandering through it, without any real purpose except to kill time.

[Chuckles]

[Victoria] And maybe gain assets and like toys and things that they're going to need to fight the final battles.

[Dan] So, let's look at Star Wars. I'm old enough that when I say Star Wars, I mean Episode IV. Okay? Act Two Is the Death Star. The things that have to happen narratively are we need to rescue the princess and we need to lose our mentor. Both of those are opportunities for big set pieces. We lose the mentor, and it's not just well, we're going to… They die in the fire swamp. It's a lightsaber battle. That's the only lightsaber battle we get in that movie. Rescuing the princess… There's this whole gun chase, and then they get thrown into a pit with a monster that tries to eat them, and then they drown and all these things. So, knowing what you have to do, and then finding the most exciting way of accomplishing that is kind of what the second act is for.

[Brandon] I think readers/viewers are really sensitive to the second act thing, without knowing it.

[Victoria] Yeah.

[Brandon] This is one of these things that, just by consuming media, you pick up on. I've noticed that a lot of the movies that people love and the sequels that people love are all ones that are surprisingly good in the second act. Right? Star Wars is a great example. But even when people say, what are the best sequels of all time? It's always the second movie that you expect to be bad because the first one was good, and we've been trained that the middle's the weakest. Yet, the best Star Wars movie, a lot of people say it's the second one. The best Godfather movie, The second one. The best Toy Story's movie is the second one. I think this is partially because people are expecting it to be bad, and it's good. Those expectations are then subverted. If you can do a good second act in your story, I think that that will just make the readers unconsciously say, "Wow, this is fantastic. I don't expect this to be the most exciting part, and it is."

[Victoria] I mean, this is one of the reasons we discussed in a previous episode that I was on where we disc… I discussed treating my chapters and scenes like episodes. I think it's in part to help me avoid the lull of the second act by creating miniature arcs within the story that bring their own satisfaction, and then stitch together into something. To me, a part of it, and we can talk about this more later, is I pretend there is no second act. I don't break it into three. I find that very, very stressful. I work forward from the beginning and backwards from the end, and I populate it with escalating arcs, because I think we put so much pressure on the second act that it becomes a place of dread. The middle of a book is already a place of dread because it's when you're most likely to quit writing it. It's when the shiny new idea sweeps in, it's when you're full of distraction, and you're beginning to get bored because everything's becoming familiar and you have to begin delivering on promises that you made in the first act. It's a very treacherous place to be. So I do think maybe also like take some of the pressure away of thinking of it as the 2A and 2B, of thinking of it as this central part of your narrative which has to hold the whole roof up. Start to look at those exciting episodes like in Star Wars where there are things that need to be accomplished and there's a very exciting way to do those things.

[Howard] Something you said earlier, Victoria, about the first act is where we're introducing all the things, and that's fine and that shiny. The last act is where we're blowing them up, or there blowing each other up. For me, if I don't break things into three acts, I will continue to introduce things through Act Two, and that breaks the story. Because it just… It bloats in bad ways. So it's useful for me to think about it as if we're describing the items in a room during Act One. Act Two, we change the lighting in the room, and now everything looks different. It's the same thing, we're just now seeing them all in a different light and were tripping over them. It's now whatever. Then, Act Three, the house is on fire. I don't know. It's a dumb metaphor.

[Chuckles]

[Howard] The idea here is that the point at which you stop introducing things structurally kind of defines the second act. So that's a point for you to create these trailer moments, like Dan was saying.

[Victoria] Yeah.

[Howard] By changing the lighting, by changing the environment, by changing the context. That'll make it a lot more exciting, I think, than just a fire swamp.

[Dan] One of the reasons I think people get intimidated by Act II is because Act I sets stuff up, Act 3 resolves it. What do I do… I'm treading water for half my book. So one of the things that I try to do is make sure the second act is filled with try-fail cycles. It's not that my characters know they have to wait to a certain point before they can end the story. They spend all of second act trying to end the story.

[Brandon] It should always be upping the stakes and escalating. Your sense of progress for that middle is that things are getting worse or the stakes are getting bigger and bigger.

[Victoria] I think of… So, obviously, we referenced the fire swamp. The Princess bride is one of my favorite examples of an archetypal narrative that follows this very, very well. You meet your players by the end of Act One, then spend Act Two with Wesley and the Princess trying to flee, being continuously failed, being abductive, being separated, trying to reassemble. We reassemble the teams by the end of Act Two, and then in Act Three, we have the fight in the war and the conclusion. It's a beautifully simple story. But it's a very satisfying story across all three acts. It starts… One of the other things that Act Two gets to do is introduce the foreshadowing moments, the little lessons and pieces of information that we're going to need in that resolution. So in a… I always say it's like it's getting all of your weapons together, it's gathering all of your forces. These are beautiful moments in Act Two, through that try-fail cycle, to achieve the motifs and the little things which are going to come back around in Act Three.

[Brandon] Let's go ahead and stop for our book of the week. You actually, Dan, have a book you were talking about how great the second act is.

[Dan] Yeah. Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett, which I talked about a while ago. Tiffany Aching is my favorite Terry Pratchett series by a mile. Wintersmith is an interesting one to bring up in a structural episode, because it has a very weird structure. But its second act is its strongest one by far. Its second act is basically Tiffany Aching is apprenticed to an older witch named Miss Treason. Miss Treason is very weird and she's very dark and she's very spooky. It's very slice of life-y. We know from the prologue that there's going to be this big evil problem with the Wintersmith. The third act, we deal with the Wintersmith. In the middle, it's just Tiffany learning how to be a witch. She will go through kind of the daily life and she will learn various lessons. It's so powerfully done because it is framed with her arriving there and it ends with Miss Treason… Spoiler warning… She dies. We get her funeral. We know she dies chapters before she does, because she's a witch, so she knows everything. But the way that it is built, I think really is a fantastic example of how to do a powerful second act.

[Brandon] So, let me ask about this. Along those second act ideas. I feel like it can get frustrating for a reader in that second act because it feels like you're going nowhere, as we've mentioned, but also the heroes, the protagonists, are often failing over and over again. How do you keep a sense of momentum when you're failing over and over again? The reader knows, in the back of their head, because they have the page count, that they can't succeed here. So, how do you work with that as authors?

[Victoria] I like to break it up. I like to break up the literal team. I often write ensemble casts. That's one of my favorite times, where they get separated and they're finding their way not only toward the goal but back towards each other. I like to put them in peril. I like it because you know, with so much of the book left, that they're going to find a way through that, that there's going to be things that happen. Then, the question becomes how. I think that there is an inherent tension in the how of something, in the understanding that there's a lot of book left, what feels like it might be a climactic moment is almost like a tease. Then it becomes a lot like, "How are they going to pull this off? How are they going to achieve this goal?" I think we can sometimes underestimate the inherent tension of how.

[Dan] One of… So the book and movie Crazy Rich Asians does something very cool in its second act. I think one of the ways to do what you're talking about is to expand the scope, use the second act to expand the scope of what we're looking. The problem itself gets larger or it starts to involve more characters. Crazy Rich Asians does this with the cousin Astrid. A lot of the plot focuses around the main character trying to fit in better with the very Asian sensibilities of the fiancé's family. She doesn't have any allies. So, second act throws Astrid at her, the cousin who A) becomes a powerful ally, but B) is rejecting a lot of the very Asian attitudes. Becomes much more independent and much more Western in the way that she views her own family. So it's exploring the same themes from a different direction and including more characters, but all in a way that eventually is going to give the main character the tools she needs in the third act.

[Howard] I think that the try-fail cycle model, Dan, that… Or… Yeah, Dan, it was you that had described the try-fail cycle, coupled with the idea of scenes from the trailers. Yes, the viewer… I remember my son, we were watching a movie and I asked him… I just turned to him and said, "You think their plan's going to work?" He was 10. He says, "If their plan works, we don't have a whole movie."

[Chuckles]

[Howard] I was so proud. I was so proud. I wept in that moment. It had nothing to do with the film. But the reader knows that the plan isn't going to succeed, because they can tell how far through the book we are. They can tell through the page count. So, the try-fail cycle has to give us… Has to give us one of these trailer moments. Has to give us some awesome. We should come out of it not with a sense of, "Oh, that didn't work," but with a sense of, "Hah! That went terribly, but now I have a machine gun. Ho, ho, ho."

[Dan] Yeah.

[Howard] Then we're cheering during the second act.

[Brandon] Well, I always also like the structure that in the second act, you try something, you succeed, and then you realize…

[Howard] You've made it worse.

[Brandon] You've made it worse. This happens in the story structure… What is it, the seven points, the nine points?

[Dan] Seven point.

[Brandon] The seven point, that Dan really likes. When I was reading about that once, there's this broadening of goals during the second act, where you realize the thing that you wanted, even if you achieve it, is not the thing you wanted all along. Suddenly, you realize, "Oh, by achieving this thing, we are in much bigger trouble." To reference Diehard again, "Oh, the FBI's here, everything's okay. Oh, crap, that was part of the plan." Those sorts of moments are really great.

[Victoria] Yeah. I agree. I think that it's also… When we talk about try-fail cycle, I think there's an erroneous visual that happens, of like a hamster wheel. That's not what it is at all, because when you get forward and you realize something's wrong, and when you fall backwards, you gain some advantage. There's always something happening, which is giving you kind of a winding path towards your climax.

[Dan] Well, I'm glad that you brought up the kind of the character change that can happen in the second act. Because sometimes that is I'm about to get what I want and realize that'll make everything worse. But just as often, it can be… The second act is where they change their attitude. They realize the goal they been pursuing is actually bad, and they decide to pursue a different one. That is going to change the focus of the rest of the story.

[Victoria] Can I say one last thing before we run out of time? I also just… I'm going to be the devil's advocate here of I don't think about these things when I'm writing.

[Chuckles]

[Victoria] Like we're articulating things in a way that I do not sit down and think, "Oh, I'm here in the second act, I better think about the way that my character is going to evolve." I think part of that is like, and we've talked about this in previous episodes, there is an intuitive level here. I think it can be really overwhelming when it becomes a codified level. Like, yes, these are things which you should be able to analyze, perhaps in the revision cycle or if you get stuck, but I think it's also okay if you're operating on a draft level in an intuitive way, and you don't feel like you're stopping and checking your map for these kinds of things every step.

[Brandon] That's really great to bring up. It can't be reinforced too much. The idea that a lot of what we do, we're doing by instinct. The more I've written, the more I am conscious of these things during outlining and revision. I still, when I'm actually writing, am not focused on this nearly as much as it might sound that we are. But when I wrote my early books, I wasn't focused on it at all. I was just learning how to write a story. Some of those books got published, and people loved them. Even though I wasn't as conscious about it. It's talking about it, it's teaching it really that forces you to analyze these things and look at what you're doing.

[Victoria] I just refer to it as developing an internal story monster, which is like a tiny Jim Henson-esque monster that lives in your chest and feeds on narrative. The more that you watch and the more that you read and the more that you write, the more you teach that internal demon figure what works and what doesn't, and the more…

[Howard] You've given me a Muppet chest buster.

[Victoria] Exactly. Exactly.

[Howard] Thank you. Thank you for that visual. Thank you.

[Brandon] All right. We are out of time. Howard, you have some homework for us.

[Howard] I do. I just turn the page from it, which was a very silly… Ah, there it is. Pick your favorite book or movie, or favorite entertainment of whatever kind. Identify where the second act begins, where the second act ends. Then, with a notebook in hand, make a list of the things that you love about that second act. Now, if your favorite thing, the second act is your least favorite part about it, make a list of the things that allowed you to muscle through the second part in order to get to the ending that you love. But, this is homework that involves writing. Because you're going to take that list of the things that you love, and you're going to try to map that onto the second acts where you are stuck.

[Brandon] This has been Writing Excuses. You're out of excuses, now go write.

mbarker

Writing Excuses 12.48: Q&A on Novels and Series, with Brian McClellan

From http://www.writingexcuses.com/2017/11/26/12-48-qa-on-novels-and-series-with-brian-mcclellan/

Q&A Summary:
Q: How do you write an ending that gives a sense of closure, but still leaves it open for more stories?
A: Make sure the ending is satisfying. Try introducing a cast in the first book of strong supporting characters, then have your satisfying HEA ending, and future books star other supporting characters. Wrap up most of the plot lines, large and small, but leave tantalizing bits. Finish this villian, but expand the scope for the future.
Q: If I write one book and it takes me a long time, should I put it out as a serial? I understand people put out serials or make their first book free to get people interested in sequels, but what if I don't plan on having a sequel? Is a serial a bad idea?
A: The serial is in a renaissance. Make sure the chunks are satisfying, with a climax, hook, and lead-in to the next part. Make sure you finish the story before you start releasing pieces, because you want to be able to revise early parts.
Q: For an unpublished writer, is it a waste of time to pitch a multi-book series, or should I focus on standalone works until I've gained some traction?
A: Best, to go in with a standalone that has series potential. Every editor wants a book to be standalone when they start reading, and a series when they end.
Q: How do you keep readers engaged, and coming back for more, between novels in a series?
A: Teasers! Short stories, novellas, anthology stories, even outtakes.
Q: For a first-time author, should a series be completed before looking for an agent, or is the first book enough?
A: First book.
Q: Do you ever find that you have this great outline for a trilogy, but when you go to write it, you find you've written the story for all three books in a short period of time? How do I fix this? Am I cutting too much? Am I missing more subplot?
A: Give it to test readers and see what they think. If it is moving too fast, add subplots, add character plots, add viewpoints. Check your try-fail cycles, and make it hard on your characters. Consider expanding on why your characters made the choices they made. Add set pieces.
Q: Is it possible to write a series as a discovery writer?
A: Yes. Make sure your ideas are big enough, and then go!
Q: What are some specific examples you can give of foreshadowing and how it works on a longer piece of writing?
A: Fix it in post! Make sure you foreshadow three times. But don't be heavy-handed. Don't forget the red herrings to go with your foreshadowing.
( One more question, and then... )

[Brandon] All right. So let's do the homework, which again, I have written down Dan does something weird.
[Dan] Yes. Okay.
[Piper] Wacky.
[Dan] So, this is Dan gets to be weird again. This is actually a game that you will hear on a lot of comedy podcasts. So, in honor of this being our series, closing out our series idea, I want you to take two books or two movies. Get suggestions from friends, make sure that they are whatever weird things. Then, that is going to be part one and part three of a series, and you have to figure out what part two is, in the middle.
[Brandon] Awesome.
[Piper] That's fun.
[Dan] It's a lot of fun.
[Brandon] This has been Writing Excuses. You're out of excuses, now go write.

mbarker.livejournal.com

Writing Excuses 11.25: Elemental Mystery Is Everywhere

From http://www.writingexcuses.com/2016/06/19/11-25-elemental-mystery-is-everywhere/

Key Points: Why do people turn the page in a mystery story? To see if they're right! How will it unfold? Curiosity! What's the answer? Mystery as a subgenre may not have a body or a big problem, but it is still a mystery whenever the character tries to figure something out. Something weird just happened, what is the hero's dark past? Mystery is the journey, the curiosity leading up to the reveal, but the reveal shows what subgenre is blended in. Curiosity keeps you reading, foreshadowing tells you what kind of reveal is coming. To create mysteries, think about the information the reader needs to know. What do the characters want to know? Why? Start with what a character needs or wants, and what it will take to achieve that. Now, what information do they need to search for to let them accomplish that? There's a mystery! Whodunits, why is it doing that, even what is this thing we keep running across -- all good mysteries. Make sure you have the right mystery. Which one does your character interact with most? When you have a body on the floor, the question is obvious. But sometimes you need to plant stuff, and hang a lantern on it to make sure the readers notice the question. Mystery as subplot usually is easy to see, trying to solve a crime, but elemental mystery as subgenre may be more subtle, using curiosity to answer a question.

( There's something happening here, What it is ain't exactly clear... (Buffalo Springfield) )

[Brandon] All right. Let's go ahead and give you guys some homework.
[Mary] All right. So what we're going to have you do is insert a mystery into whatever it is that you're currently working on. Short story, novel, whatever it is. All I'm going to ask you to do is look at what it is that your character needs. You've probably got the solution already in there. Take the solution out. Then build it in so that the character has to figure out the solution. So essentially, you have just created a mystery within your story.
[Brandon] Excellent. This has been Writing Excuses. You're out of excuses, now go solve some mysteries.

Current Mood: puzzled

mbarker.livejournal.com

Writing Excuses 11.8: Wonder As a Subgenre

From http://www.writingexcuses.com/2016/02/21/11-08-wonder-as-a-subgenre/

Key points: Wonder as subplot. Often the first half is exploring amazing, wonderful new things, while the main plot is building for the second half. Mash up waiting for the next wonder with something else. Put awesome things in! Make a list, order them, and write. Beware taking them out of order, kung fu on a train goes before the nuclear explosion, not afterwards. Use set pieces, major scenes. Make your buildup fit. Foreshadowing is important. Sense of wonder, strangeness, newness, and reactions. Make sure the character can be awed -- sometimes a naive viewpoint character can help (eh, Watson?). But when Sherlock is surprised, you know it is amazing. Don't just do set pieces, fill in the corners with amazing candy wrappers, too. Even small moments of wonder can be very useful. Build the progression -- something new, something strange and unexpected, and then amazement. Booger-flavored candy? Consider timebombs, plot tokens that foreshadow you've got this many coming. Apprentice plot, travelogue, whenever you set up promises of wonders to come and then pay them off, it can be good. Be careful that your subgenre doesn't take over the story, though. Use little pockets, layers, flourishes of wonder, not a distraction but an accent, just an Easter egg for the reader to enjoy now and then.

( A drop of sunshine, a sparkle of dew, a firework display, bright and shiny! )
[Brandon] We actually are out of time on this. This has been a fantastic podcast. But we're actually going to give you some homework.
[Dan] All right. Your homework this week is that we want you to do this. We want you to actually take a story that you're working on, that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with a sense of wonder, and apply a sense of wonder to some aspect of it. Somebody walks into a room and sees something amazing. Or walks out into the city street and sees something amazing. Write a paragraph or two where your character experiences a sense of wonder.
[Brandon] This has been Writing Excuses. You're out of excuses, now go write.

Current Mood: smeegles

mbarker.livejournal.com

Writing Excuses 7.1: When Good Characters Go Bad

From http://www.writingexcuses.com/2012/01/01/writing-excuses-7-1-when-good-characters-go-bad/

Key Points: Why? Character change -- redemption or falling -- interests us! Also, fall and realization is cathartic. Plus, this can set up concern for the other characters. To start, show us their starting state, normal and good, and the choice that starts them down the path. Motivation and slippery slope. Dividing line or shades of gray? Don't tell the reader where the line is, let them decide. Does the character think they have crossed the line? Have they slowly eased over it, or been pushed to the edge and snapped? Does the gradual slip have a moment of realization? What about realizing that the rules, the code, itself is wrong? Consider the tragic flaw, and the archetype of the hero who falls from grace. Is this an Everyman falling? Remember that even villains are heroes of their own story. Make sure your character is motivated, and that the fall is foreshadowed. Use that anticipation.
( Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? )
[Howard] Perfect. You know what, I'm just going to build this off of the last comment I made. Come up with a list of three things that are very, very important to your main character that are all in alignment. Now, outline yourself some circumstances where one of those things is now out of alignment and can drive your character from the protagonist's side into darkness and eventual oblivion.
[Brandon] All right. This has been Writing Excuses. You're out of excuses, now go write.

Current Mood: turned

mbarker.livejournal.com

Writing Excuses #22: Doing the Unpopular (Aka When DoYou Do Unpopular Things?)

From http://www.writingexcuses.com/2008/07/07/writing-excuses-episode-22-when-do-things-that-are-unpopular/

The ABCs of unpopular writing. Tell the reader ahead of time (foreshadow!) the unpleasantness. Consider compromising to make good salable art, not just art. Good writing first, do what you need to make the best story, and fulfill your promises. And stick to your guns. Popularity polls doth not good writing make.
( More darts in the board )

Writing Prompt: Write a scene from the POV of a frontline grunt in an army of the undead. A grunt who gets thrown onto the spears, dies, gets reanimated, and gets ready to die again.

Howard's amendment: You are not allowed to use the word "brains."

And that's it for another week.

Current Mood: unpopular
Current Music: Put A Girl In It, Brooks & Dunn

Profile

Writing Excuses Transcripts

June 2025

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
1	2	3	4	5	6	7
8	9	10	11	12	13	14
15	16	17	18	19	20	21
22	23	24	25	26	27	28
29	30

Syndicate

Page Summary

Style Credit

Base style: Patsy by sforzinda
Theme: Clay Deco by timeasmymeasure

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Page generated Jun. 30th, 2025 09:22 am

Navigation

Writing Excuses Transcripts

Entries tagged with foreshadow

Writing Excuses18.39: How To Write An Ending

Writing Excuses 18.34: Seventeen Years of Foreshadowing

Writing Excuses 17.4: The Gun on the Mantel is Actually a Fish

Writing Excuses 16.32: First Page Fundamentals – THE KILLING FLOOR, by Lee Childs

Writing Excuses 15.33: The Long, Dark Second Act of the Soul

Writing Excuses 12.48: Q&A on Novels and Series, with Brian McClellan

Writing Excuses 11.25: Elemental Mystery Is Everywhere

Writing Excuses 11.8: Wonder As a Subgenre

Writing Excuses 7.1: When Good Characters Go Bad

Writing Excuses Episode 22: Doing the Unpopular

Profile

June 2025

Syndicate

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags